Negotiation Law Blog

Succeeding at BigLaw for Young Women Lawyers

Victoria Pynchon — Tue, 15 May 2012 20:02:30 -0800

No, I’m not going to suggest that you blog.

In 2006, I started blogging on negotiation for lawyers with the LexBlog Network which has grown and prospered during the six years I’ve had my lawyer-blog home there. Yesterday, the son of LexBlog founder Kevin O’Keefe, Colin O’Keefe, conducted an interview on my view of the state of women in the law.

If someone had given me this advice when I graduated from law school in 1980, I have to admit that I probably wouldn’t have followed it. But that’s because I was always ambivalent about my legal practice. It was great, don’t get me wrong. But it wasn’t my bliss. My bliss lay elsewhere and I didn’t want to spend my entire living breath doing nothing but legal work, legal networking, legal writing, legal thinking, legal talking.

Today. It’s impossible to go back and make major life decisions all over again. But if you want the law to be your career and if you want to practice the most sophisticated and complex law with the brightest people in the world, here’s some good advice for you – the young female lawyer.

Here is Colin's introduction, then the video.

What Women's Initiatives Need

Victoria Pynchon — Tue, 15 May 2012 19:53:13 -0800

It’s not at all surprising that most women’s initiatives at most AmLaw200 law firms have been dismal failures.

They failed because they lack buy-in; are often unfunded; and, no one takes them seriously.

The best use I’ve seen made of an unfunded women’s initiative in an AmLaw100 firm was the way the women used it. Instead of cross-referring business among specialty groups to the primarily male practice leaders, the firm’s women cross-referred to the women in the initiative.

That subverts the established order of things which tends to favor men.

People with power do not tend to freely give it away. You must take it.

Action.

That’s what women’s initiatives need.

What they primarily get is a great looking promotional brochure or well-designed web page.

I call this the summer associate bait and switch.

The firms want to attract the best and brightest law school candidate and half of them are women. The firm wants to assure the women that they have a bright future. Hence, the brochure, the web-page and the lip service.

Obviously, I’m in favor of action, which includes subversion of the established (male) order for women to get the opportunities they deserve for practice development and advancement.

My friend Lauren Stiller Rikleen who often guest posts here, has had the solution ever since her book, Ending the Gauntlet, Removing Barriers to Women’s Success in the Law was published several years ago.

Five Keys to Success

Let’s assume that these women’s initiatives are not just Potemkin Villages but actual attempts to improve the retention and promotion of high potential women in the law. Let’s assume that law firm management (an oxymoron) just can’t figure it out.

After today, there will be no excuse. Here they are, straight from Rikleen’s keyboard to your in-box

Men must become partners in creating the template for future success.

As Rikleen explains here, for women’s initiatives to succeed, they must be focused on institutional changes, not simply band-aids. That means the men – who remain the firm leaders and hold most of the power to make the institution woman-friendly, must be active participants.

Implied Biases Must Be Recognized and Their Effects Addressed.

I’m on the diversity committee of a powerful ADR think tank. When we meet to discuss our strategies and programs to raise the number of women and minorities who are making their living as mediators, the conversation devolves into yet another discussion on the issue whether there’s bias in the profession at all.

I’ve been on the Committee for two years now and this dynamic is the primary reason why we haven’t yet gotten anything done.

We’re about to declare the promotion and retention of women and minorities in ADR Mission Critical for 2013. So keep your eyes peeled. I will be practicing what I’m preaching here.

Management Support, Accountability Structures, and Resources to Ensure Change.

Those firms who have gotten firm leader buy-in and gotten past the barrier of implied-bias-denial, must go on to “develop a variety of programming options, including speakers and training.” These programming events are not cynical, politically correct scrims meant to keep the firm’s women “happy.”

They must meet identified goals and objectives which firm leaders crafted after engaging in an process that assessed those factors that were keeping the firms women back, or, worse, making them leave in numbers that create an attrition problem for the firm and its clients.

Continue at Forbes Woman

Introducing: the First Annual National Girlfriends' Networking Day!

Victoria Pynchon — Tue, 08 May 2012 20:01:44 -0800

I’m hosting an anti-cat-fight, support your sisters, sponsorship and mentorship campaign this week so I was pleased to see an announcement for the first annual (so optimistic!) National Girlfriends’ Networking Day.

Here’s what I’ve learned in 30+ years in the legal market, 25 of them in litigation firms of all sizes and reputations and eight of them facilitating the resolution of litigated disputes.

The women in your firm may mentor you (teach you the ropes) but not sponsor you (put their skin in your game).

Or the women in your firm may do nothing for you.

Or, worse, the women in your firm may sabotage you.

Men will too so don’t think this is about women hating other women.

This is about the accumulation of wealth and power and no gender owns avarice.

It may seem at first as if the men are more friendly and helpful to you than the women.

That’s often true.

The men like you because you tend to work 22% longer and 10% faster than your male colleagues do before you feel that you’ve earned your yearly salary. That means you’re diligently doing your male mentor’s work for him and don’t expect enough compensation for it.

You’re not a threat.

Yet.

You don’t ask for raises or negotiate bonuses.

Sure, you get a raise every year, but you don’t ask for more even though you’re making somewhere between 20 and 30% less than your male colleagues of the same year or the same book of business or the same talent, skill, dedication and hard work (billable hours).

When I was at the annual gala for the 100+ year old Women Lawyers Association of Los Angeles (WLALA) recently, the Mayor said from the podium that he loved his women lawyers because “they never asked for a raise!”

The nearly 300 attendees dropped their jaws pretty much at once.

Really?

Really!

Those helpful, loyal men?

Don’t count on them when you ask for compensation that’s the same as theirs.

When you begin to be a threat, they’re not nearly as loyal as they’ve been while you were turning out dynamite work for them at 2 in the morning.

Continue at Forbes Woman

The Necessity of Women-Only Networks

Victoria Pynchon — Thu, 03 May 2012 16:33:15 -0800

This is a guest post by financial advisor Stacey Gordon, Managing Principal of The Gordon Group, a financial and HR consulting firm. Stacey is the former President of the National Association of Women MBAs.

I’m constantly asked the question, “why do women need to exclude men from their networks?”

My answer is simple. We need is a place where we can nurture relationships in a way that feels comfortable, a venue where we make the rules, and a private space that empowers us.

I dislike buzz words like “empowered” but when the shoe fits . . .

In this case, it’s psychological. When we’re not being judged by our actions, our speech, our tone of voice or our discussion of families and babies in business setting, we are able to put those perceived (and in many cases, actual) condemnations aside and get down to business.

It’s that simple.

We are judged all the time and we’d like to occasionally be in a place where we are judged less. Or at least judged on criteria that pertains to our jobs rather than to our gender.

The same is true for race or ethnic based organizations.

Unless he’s attended an all-woman’s conference, most white men have never walked into a room and questioned whether he should be there. White men have a sense of entitlement. They’re given the benefit of the doubt and the fact that they are leadership material is unquestioned.

The same cannot be said for female, Black, Hispanic, or Asians.

Ask any of them.

Continue at Forbes Woman

Good Negotiators Know it's Never Just About Money

Victoria Pynchon — Thu, 03 May 2012 16:16:36 -0800

I used to help attorneys, insurance adjusters, physicians and patients resolve medical malpractice cases. Most attorneys and mediators call these cases “pure money” disputes because they don’t believe the personal relationship between the doctor and his former patient has anything to do with the resolution of the lawsuit.

It only took a few months mediating all types of litigated disputes – fights over intellectual property rights, unfair competition, collection, personal injury, professional malpractice and breaches of contract – to conclude that no dispute is “only about money.”

The negotiator who understands that there is no “pure money” negotiation, has reached the status of “super negotiator” because she has already learned something about what motivates people and has already broken through the mass illusion that money is a singular, objective metric of value to all parties.

Money is a Subjective Measure of Value

As I wrote in an academic article on the many subjective meanings of money

Although contemporary money seems to have shed all of its qualities except its quantity, ‘its oneness or fiveness or fiftyness,’ we do not in fact use money as if it were fungible. We experience the value of a dollar earned differently from the way we experience one that is stolen or given to us as a gift and we spent it differently as well.

Even money’s form exerts some control over the way in which we are willing to deploy it. Credit card companies have recently seen the benefit in selling ‘debit’ cards as a means of making the gift of money (rather than carefully chosen things) appropriate in settings where cash would seem gauche or even insulting.

Gifts of money are generally meant to be expended on a single item or experience and are typically delivered with injunctions that the recipient buy something ‘frivolous’ or do something ‘luxurious.’The recipients of ‘cash’ gifts are expected to report back on the special use to which the gift was put.

If the beneficiary of the largesse were to spend the money on rent or groceries, it would surely be taken as an insult to the donor and embarrassment to the donee, or else cause for general alarm at the donee’s unacknowledged impoverished state.

When we respond to our friend’s needs rather than their desires, we tend not to give monetary gifts but to (often reluctantly) make loans. And where we might happily and without serious thought spend $50 on a gift, we might well wring our hands at the prospect of lending such a sum for necessities.

A dollar is not simply a dollar.

In helping attorneys negotiate the resolution of litigation, mediators aid them in resolving the non-monetary justice issues – issues capable of resolution primarily through a process that begins with accountability and ends with apology.

Continue at Forbes Woman

Concessions and Reciprocity; Secret Weapons of the Super Negotiator

Victoria Pynchon — Tue, 01 May 2012 19:24:40 -0800

Reciprocity makes the adage “It’s better to give than to receive” literally true.

To maximize the power of reciprocity at home or at work, take the following three steps.

Express appreciation for any proposal seeking agreement even if you’re going to reject it.

People want to be understood and appreciated as much as they want whatever it is they’re trying to get from you.

In fact, people tend to use things and money to get what they really want – love and affection.

Don’t ever minimize the power of fellow feeling, even if you’re locked in a battle of wits in the workplace or in the home.

Explain why making the requested concession is difficult for you.

Your bargaining partners are far more likely to understand and appreciate your negotiation position if you explain what’s underneath it. I’d love to mow the backyard but my hay fever’s been acting up, can we split the household chores in some other way?

Just as importantly, people reflexively respond to one another “in kind.” If you’re willing to make a concession that’s easy for you, it’s not likely to elicit one that’s hard for your bargaining partner to make.

When you do make a reciprocal concession, stress that it’s even more difficult for you to make than it was for you bargaining partner to make theirs.

You know how important it is for me to read the Sunday Times first thing in the morning but I’m willing to go to church with you instead because I know how important that is for you.

If you make this concession without asking for a reciprocal favor, it will hang heavily on your partner’s conscience until he or she is able to respond in kind.

The best example of this “hanging” reciprocal obligation is the dinner party. If the Jones invited you to a meal at their house catered by a five-star restaurant, you wouldn’t dream of reciprocating by asking them out to McDonalds.

Continue at Forbes Woman

The Coco Chanel Effect; are Pretty People More Persuasive?

Victoria Pynchon — Mon, 30 Apr 2012 15:49:02 -0800

Nature gives you the face you have at 20; it is up to you to merit the face you have at 50. — Coco Chanel

Yesterday, we talked about youth, beauty, charm, authenticity and humility as the source of great

bargaining power.

Today we’re talking mostly about beauty and whether those blessed with it get a better deal than their less attractive peers.

At least some of the answers to that question can be found in Coco Chanel’s famous comment about beauty quoted above.

But first the research.

Beauty is a Powerful Tool of Persuasion

Assuming that the “hits” a quality-describing word elicits from a search engine indicate the relative importance the quality described, I recently googled “beauty” and “intelligence.”

Beauty edged out intelligence by only a slight margin — garnering 697 million to the 652 million hits generated by intelligence. For what it’s worth, people apparently aren’t so interested in coupling these two qualities.

Searching both beauty and intelligence offered up only 26 million hits.

Many beautiful young women (and that’s pretty much all young women, ladies) assume that men fascinated by their beauty will not respect their intelligence. And that makes them angry. The research should help defuse that knee-jerk response.

Physically Attractive People Presumed to Be More Intelligent

In the early 1980′s, social science researchers found that physically attractive people are not only considered more intelligent and competent than their less fetching peers, but are presumed to be more competent in fields completely unrelated to physical attractiveness — such as piloting an airplane.

Other research studies followed, showing that we also expect physically attractive men and women to be more trustworthy, reliable and charitable than their less attractive peers, as well as better educated, stronger, and wiser.

Studies on electoral habits have shown that attractive candidates receive as many as two and a half times the number of votes as unattractive candidates and that voters do not realize their bias. Whether this confirms or disproves the adage that politics is show business for ugly people is up to you.

Beauty and Justice

The influence of beauty does not stop at the political choices we make. Our judicial process is also susceptible to the influences of body dimension and bone structure.

Researchers have found that attractive male criminal defendants are twice as likely to avoid jail time as unattractive miscreants. That’s why trial lawyers dress their clients up.

The relative good looks of civil litigants also influences juries, which award twice the damages when plaintiff is better looking than the defendant and half the compensation when the defendant is more physically attractive than the plaintiff.

As Robert Cialdini wrote:

Good looking people enjoy an enormous social advantage in our culture. They are better liked, more persuasive, more frequently assisted, and seen as possessing more desirable personality traits and greater intellectual capacities.

It appears that the social benefits of good looks begin to accumulate quite early. Research on elementary school children show that adults view aggressive acts as less naughty when performed by an attractive child and that teachers presume good-looking children to be more intelligent that their less attractive classmates.

Continue at Forbes Woman

Charm Your Way to Being a Good Negotiator

Victoria Pynchon — Mon, 30 Apr 2012 15:31:57 -0800

I was sitting with a truly beautiful young woman after a negotiation presentation to a local bar association listening to her tale about a difficult opposing counsel.

He was obstructive, unpleasant, devious. And he wouldn’t return her telephone calls.

Have you ever met face-to-face, I asked.

No, she said. He practices in Los Angeles and I’m in Orange County.

Well for heavens’ sakes have lunch with him, I replied. You’re a beautiful woman. If he orders drinks, demur. Sip iced tea. Ask him lots of questions. Be curious. Be authentic. Be charming.

Admittedly, I was advising this young lawyer to take unfair advantage of another lawyer. He, on the other hand, appeared to be taking undue advantage of her youth and inexperience.

The super secret of all great negotiators is to use what you’ve got, be genuinely curious and authentically yourself.

Had my young inquirer told me she was uncomfortable being anything other than aggressive with opposing counsel, I would have tailored my advice.

As it was, she found it easy to make the lunch date, sip lemonade while her opponent had three-martinis, and to get what she wanted – the settlement of a case that had become more difficult than her adversary yet knew.

We’re Not All Beautiful, But We Can All Be Charming

The best advice I was ever given as a litigator attempting to pry the facts of a dispute out of hostile parties was to “be curious.”

Everyone responds favorably to another human being who is taking a lively interest in their life, their pursuits, their challenges, their fears, their desires, their preferences, and their priorities.

The worst attitude we can bring to any negotiation is one that casts us in the role of an expert in what the other person wants.

Yes, we’ve studied, done our homework, made assumptions and predictions, have our spreadsheets, executive summaries and detailed strategies in hand.

All of that high-level intellectual work having been accomplished, the most powerful statement we can make is a question.

What do you want?

Continue at Forbes Woman

What They Should Teach You Before Law School

Victoria Pynchon — Fri, 27 Apr 2012 16:21:23 -0800

This is a guest post by estate planning attorney Sona Tatiyants.

I started law school a decade ago. At the time, the post 9-11 economy was on a major decline and law schools across the country were seeing a huge surge in the number of applicants.

Hundreds of thousands of college grads were applying seeking a J.D. and I was one of them.

Like many people before me, I hated law school. I remember reading Scott Turow’s One L: The Turbulent True Story of a First Year at Harvard Law School. I could relate. But I was not at Harvard, and my law school’s name alone was not going to open up doors for me.

Still, it all turned out well.

Do I regret going down my chosen path? Not at all.

But would I change things if I had the opportunity? Absolutely!

If I could go back in time, I’d give the following advice to myself and to all law students, at Harvard or elsewhere.

Play Nice With Your Classmates – One Day They Will Be Your Opposing Counsel

The cut-throat atmosphere of many law schools brings out the worst in people. This is unfortunate but understandable. You’re constantly stressed. You’re worried about the attrition rate. You’re worried about passing the bar. You’re worried about getting a job.

It’s very easy to start seeing your classmates as enemies and treat them accordingly. But this is a big mistake. Be nice to your classmates because one day they will become your colleagues, referral sources, and even opposing counsel. Being nice in law school will help guard your reputation and will pay off in spades long after you graduate.

Discover Your Lawyering Personality

Take all the classes that pique your interest. Take advantage of internships and summer association positions to discover what type of law practice fits your personality best.

You may think that I’m crazy to say this. You may be thinking that law grads should consider themselves lucky to get any legal job in this economy.

But realize that most lawyers who hate their job feel that way because it does not suit their personality. Trust me, I am speaking from experience.

My first job out of law school involved many administrative hearings and depositions. I was in an adversarial position day in and out, and I hated stepping into a court room knowing that someone would win and someone would lose.

Continue at Forbes Woman

Apps Every Businesswoman Needs

Victoria Pynchon — Thu, 19 Apr 2012 16:24:55 -0800

This is a guest post by Sona A. Tatiyants, a young Southern California lawyer who launched her own practice two years ago, talking about the apps she finds necessary to succeed in business.

I am not a techie. I still take notes on a legal pad during client meetings. I print my research on paper before I read it. And I love leafing through paperbacks before I buy them.

But there are certain applications and online services that I just can’t live without in my law practice.

Because I don’t have the manpower of a large law firm, using smart phone applications to automate and save time are crucial to the success of my legal practice.

Know Your Money: Mint.com

Any successful business owner must have a good grasp of money coming in and out of her business. Mint.com allows me to do just that.

I have the iPhone app and check my business accounts a few times a day to see if certain checks and deposits have cleared. I even use Mint (instead of QuickBooks) to keep my books.

To do that, I’ve created categories specific to my practice like rent, employee costs, taxes, income, marketing, client expenses, etc.

At the end of the year I take all this information, dump it into an Excel spreadsheet, and hand it over to my accountant who uses this data to prepare my corporate tax returns. You can even use Mint to set budgets for your company’s monthly expenses, and Mint will alert you once you’re over the budget.

Best part of all, Mint is Free.

Now, that’s a good money decision!

Earn Those Miles: Square

I am big on earning credit card miles. In my personal life, I have only one credit card and use it as much as possible to earn miles (I even have my business credit card linked to my personal one so I can share my miles).

When a client whose boyfriend lived in another city but frequently came to visit her asked if she could pay with a credit card to earn miles, I finally gave in and started accepting credit cards.

I didn’t want to sign up as a merchant to take credit cards and pay a monthly fee.

Instead, I purchased the Square Card Reader at the Apple Store. It is a small device that connects to my iPhone (on the headset jack) and allows me to swipe a client’s credit card. The client signs directly on the screen with a finger and is e-mailed a receipt.

If you frequently accept credit cards for your services, then you can pay a small monthly fee and enjoy lower rates. For my clients’ convenience (and my ability to collect fees!) giving up 2.75% from the transaction seems like a good deal.

And you get your fee deposited into your bank account the next day while you check the transfer status with your Mint app.

Continue at Forbes Woman