The Upstate Fatherhood Coalition is a non-profit organization whose sole mission is to help fathers overcome barriers which may be present in their lives which prevent them from being a responsible and involved father in their children’s lives. 

They have locations in Spartanburg and Greenville, South Carolina, but serve fathers from all the surrounding counties including Oconee, Anderson, Pickens, Laurens, Union and Cherokee, assisting approximately 500 fathers each year. In addition to supporting fathers and their families, the group is a resource for businesses seeking employees who are ready to work and also for community organizations who want to learn more about father absence and how to engage fathers. 

The Upstate Fatherhood Coalition is part of a network of fatherhood programs reaching all across the state which is supported and coordinated by the South Carolina Center for Fathers and Families. Their programs are sustained through the generous support of community organizations, individuals, and government partnerships. Though individuals can donate directly through their website, there is now another creative way to help support such a worthy cause.

TD Bank’s Affinity Program allows individuals to “link” their bank account via a charitable code and thus “earn” credit towards a charitable donation by TD Bank to the SC Center for Father’s and Families.  The Center will receive $50.00 for every new checking account opened and $10.00 for every existing checking account coded for the Center.

In addition to the money earned for each new and existing account, TD Bank will also donate money to the Center based on a percentage of the average balance of all tagged TD Bank Affinity Program accounts. (Note: The Center will not receive any information from TD Bank regarding your balances or any other personal information.) To find out more details about this program or to open a new account or link your existing TD Bank accounts to this worthy cause, click here. 

• If you are age 62-plus, were married 10 years or more, and are currently unmarried (and you are not entitled to receive a higher benefit based on your own work), you can receive benefits based on your ex’s earnings, even if he or she remarried.
• If you both worked, the lower earner may receive benefits based on the higher earner’s work.
• If you never worked, you can collect benefits on your ex’s work, and your ex is still eligible to collect what he or she has earned over the years.
• If your ex hasn’t yet applied, but qualifies for benefits, you can still receive benefits if you have been divorced for two years.
• You can collect a divorced spouse’s benefits without reducing the amount of your ex’s benefit.
• The longer you wait to collect divorced spousal benefits, up to your full retirement age, the higher your benefit will be.

Source: “What Happens With My Social Security If I Get Divorced?” by Stephen M. Worrall, published at his Georgia Family Law Blog.

When going through a South Carolina divorce, couples find themselves stretched thin both emotionally and financially. The costs of getting divorced, paying for a South Carolina family law attorney, alimony, child support, along with the burdens of establishing a new household with extra bills and extra responsibilities can be not only tiring, but expensive.

Even under the best of circumstances, finding the spare money to put aside to fund your children’s education can be difficult, but in families who are grappling with the divorce, it can be almost impossible. Beyond the financial difficulties of paying such a large expense in the face of running two households, parents have the added hardship of trying to reach an agreement with their former spouse (which can be tricky). Anger and frustration could still be present, and putting those feelings aside to tackle your children’s higher education needs can be a challenge.

Despite all the hardships, there are a number of ways that divorcing parents can help their children pay for a college education. One way, discussed in a recent U.S. News and World Report article, is to come to an agreement about possible continuing South Carolina child support. Although parents are not required to support their children past 18 years old (or their graduation from high school, whichever happens last), there is nothing to prevent parents from reaching their own extended child support agreement. Agreeing to such a situation in writing and well in advance of college can help ensure that some of the costs of college are defrayed.

Another way of putting some money aside for your children is to continue making contributions to your kids’ 529 college savings plan. This might be a more palatable choice for some than simply asking for continued child support payments. After all, child support is paid to the other parent and has no strings attached for how it can be used. By putting extra money aside in a 529 college savings plan, you virtually ensure that the money will be used solely for the education of your children. 

Source: “Discuss College Savings During Divorce Process,” by Reyna Gobel, published at USNews.com.

Most people understand that during a divorce or separation, property and debts must be divided. In South Carolina, the judge hearing your case in Family Court will divide all of your marital assets as equitably as possible. This does not always mean an even split, but it often involves taking the assets of one party and giving a portion of them to another.

While almost all assets are up for grabs during a divorce, there are some things that may be exempt from division. In South Carolina family law cases, our courts follow the “equitable distribution” concept of property division. In equitable distribution states, an asset may belong equally to both parties, to only one party, or to both parties in unequal shares.

The best way to understand what might happen to your assets is to consider the time during which you acquired them. For assets that one spouse acquired prior to marriage, the general rule is that they are exempt from division. The exception here is if the owner of that premarital asset purposely and knowingly added them to the larger pool of marital assets.

For example, if one spouse owned a home prior to marriage, but later added their spouse’s name to the deed, it changes the nature of the property, taking something that was separate property and making it a joint marital asset that could be equitably divided. Another example would be when a couple takes the money they have prior to marriage and commingles the funds together in a joint bank account. In the event of divorce, neither will be able to claim their share as separate property.

The good thing is that in equitable division states like South Carolina, our family law consider both the direct and indirect contributions made by each spouse toward the accumulation of the marital estate. That means that if a court determines that one party acquired a piece of property with little or no assistance from the other spouse, a judge may decide to grant the majority of the value of that property to the responsible spouse instead of evenly dividing the asset. If you have additional questions about divorce laws in South Carolina, consult our experienced South Carolina family law attorneys who can help guide you through the confusing process.

Child custody cases are complicated, even for experienced family law attorneys. There are things that clients can do to ruin their own cases. At times, it seems as though some parents are their own worst enemies. Kevin Hickey recently published the following article which uses humor to try to help people avoid sabotaging their own custody cases:

Pardon the tongue-in-cheek headline, but, as a divorce and custody attorney, I have to admit that sometimes it seems as if straightforward advice may not get through quite as clearly as satire does.

So, in that slightly-satirical-but-completely-serious spirit, and in honor of the day (though I’m not fooling you here!), here’s my own version of David Letterman’s “Top Ten Lists”: The Top Ten Ways to Thoroughly Make a Mess of Your Custody Case.

#10: Don’t Listen to Anything Your Attorney Says.

It’s not like you’re paying him or anything …

#9: Instead, Do Everything Your Second Cousin (Once Removed) Who Got Divorced and Won Custody Twenty-Two Years Ago In a Completely Different State Says You Should Do.

Because of course he’ll know more than your lawyer, with three years of law school and ten-plus years of actual experience under her belt …

#8: Never Forget the Ultimate Goal Is to Really Stick It To Your Ex-Spouse.

Isn’t that what the court system is for, when you get right down to it?

#7: Ignore the Court Order At Will.

It’s not like the court order carries the force of law or the threat of jail time if you don’t do what it says. (Actually, no, it is that. It is exactly like that.)

#6: Don’t Worry About Keeping a Case Notebook – You Won’t Forget Any of This Stuff, And It’s Not Like It’s Important Anyway.

Details, schmetails. You’ve got a brain like a steel trap, right? And you never forget where your car keys are, either, do you?

#5: Wait Until the Very Last Minute to Get Your Chronology Together.

“Um … when did we get married? Lemme think … well, I know Clinton was president … or was it Bush? Yes, that’s right, it was Bush. Wait, which Bush, though?”

#4: Take Every Opportunity to Show the Judge What You Really Think of Her.

Roll your eyes, make derogatory comments under your breath, give her “the finger” – judges just love that kind of behavior.

#3: Badmouth Your Ex to the Kids Every Chance You Get.

It’s important that they know every single detail of every single one of your many passionate feelings. It’s called “honesty,” right? Sure! What could possibly go wrong with this strategy?

#2: Even Better, Enlist the Kids In Your Campaign to Ruin Your Ex’s Reputation.

Make your kids co-conspirators? Why not?

#1: Kids? What Kids?

See #8. You’re not really in this for the kids’ best interests, anyway.

Source: “How to Thoroughly Make a Mess of Your Custody Case” by Kevin Hickey, published at his outstanding family law blog.

The New York Times

The concept of nesting began as some couples sought to find a way to keep their children’s lives relatively consistent through the turmoil of divorce. The term “nesting” refers to the practice of former spouses sharing or rotating through a single home in which their children live full-time. The goal is to avoid having the children feel like they are living out of a suitcase following a divorce, creating much needed stability in a time of great change.

Experts say that nesting can work very well in some cases, but be disastrous in others. In marriages that fell apart due to violence or dangerous addictions, continuing to share a residence would not be a good idea and would likely make things more difficult for the children. In cases where the parents are amicable after the split and have the financial resources to make it work, nesting can lead to incredibly collaborative co-parenting. Some experts say in cases where the parents are truly able to get along, it can be ideal for children who are placed at the center of their parents’ lives without being stuck in the middle.

Even in cases where the split was amicable, it does not mean that nesting will be easy. After all, the spouses were not able to get along during their marriage, so having to work together and agree after it’s over can be even more difficult. Certain challenges will still have to be overcome to make this arrangement work, and some of the questions you should ask include the following:

• Who will be responsible for housekeeping and household maintenance? 
• Who owns what and who has the right to make changes to the house? 
• Who pays rent and how much is owed? 
• Where will the other parent be when one parent is nesting with the kids? 
• What about food, clothing and other basic necessities, how will those expenses be split?

Some other things to watch for if you’re considering nesting is to be sure that your children do not mistake this as a precursor to getting back together. Experts say that parents should be sure to remind their children that reconciliation is not going to happen.

One of the most difficult aspects of nesting, and one that often derails attempts to create such a nest, is developing new relationships. If one spouse wants to bring a new mate into the “family home”, it can blow up the entire arrangement. Trying to navigate so many landmines can be dicey, but for some, the hassle is worth it for the happiness of their children.

Source: “Does ‘Nesting’ Children After Divorce Work?,” by KJ Dell’Antonia, published at NYTimes.com.

promote closer bonding with your children?  The following tips can help you do just that:

1. Exploration :: The most magical thing about literature has always been its ability to provide a way for everyone to explore life, no matter their station. Modern technology holds the same magic ability to help everyone explore life by literally putting all of the information of the world at our fingertips. You can find ask what interests your child and have endless ways to then begin exploring that topic together. 
2. Education in Other Cultures :: “A stranger is simply a friend you haven’t met yet.”  You can use technology to educate your children about other nationalities and cultures, which can help your child be more friendly, reduce stereotypes, and increase understanding and affection.
3. The Power of Video :: Today’s modern technology enables us to remain connected with our children, regardless of the distance. Face Time, Skype, and other video chat applications can help parents maintain face-to-face contact with their children, no matter how far away they may actually be.
4. Communication :: Parents should utilize tools at their disposal to keep a continuous line of communication open with their children. In today’s fast-paced world, this might mean communicating more often via text and IM in order to maintain or deepen our bonds. Technology can be yet another way you can let your children know that you love them.
5. School Involvement :: Many school districts are providing parents access to their children’s educational records. Parents should take advantage of this to stay on top of school work and grades on a regular basis. Not only can this help identify problems sooner, but it also provides the ability to discuss these issues with your children and provide encouragement for their efforts.

A recent

The first thing that’s important to understand is that South Carolina follows an equitable division approach when dividing financial assets in a divorce. That means that marital assets and debts must be divided fairly, though that doesn’t necessarily mean equally (50/50). In cases like this, it is particularly important that the wife (a) have an experienced attorney and (b) argue that it would be inequitable to hold her responsible for any of the business debts. However, it is important to understand the husband might claim that since the wife has benefited from the business, possibly by living off money it made, she ought to also be responsible for some of those expenses.

Who will end up paying which debt will depend on the specifics of each particular case, as everyone’s case is unique. Did both spouses sign the card? If so, then both are potentially on the hook for the payments, even if it is for the husband’s business. If not, the credit card company can only go after the signatory on the account for any amounts owed – although the Family Court could require either or both parties to be responsible for the debt.

Unfortunately, there are other complications that must be considered. For instance, even if the husband was the sole signatory, it does not mean that the wife is totally protected. For example, if the husband refuses to pay and the credit card company wins a judgment against him, they could possibly try to collect that judgment from marital assets, such as real property or financial accounts.

The best way to minimize your exposure is to ensure that your assets are in your name alone and that you do not sign onto any debts with your spouse. In cases where you are a signatory on the account, most companies will let you close the account if the balance is zero, thus preventing your spouse from running up additional charges. If there’s a balance owed, you will likely have to reach an agreement with your spouse to pay the amount owed before the company will let you close the account and remove your name.

The issues surrounding finances in a divorce can be very confusing and take a lot of hard work to untangle. If you’re facing a messy divorce and are not sure where to turn for answers, consult an experienced South Carolina family law attorney who can help walk you through the complicated process. You are welcome to contact our office at (864) 598-9172 to schedule a consultation.

Source: “Will my Husband’s Business Card Debt Hurt my Credit After Divorce?,” by Elaine Pofeldt, published at FoxBusiness.com.

They want (and deserve) the ability to love and spend time with both of their parents. Parenting plans (sometimes called visitation agreements) can help provide that opportunity and ensure that access occurs.

When considering what arrangements are in the best interest of your children, the following items should be taken into account:

• Which parent will make decisions regarding the child’s medical issues?
• Which parent will make decisions regarding the chid’s education?
• Which parent will make other important decisions for the child?
• What happens if the parents disagree on certain issues?
• When will the child be with each parent during the school year?
• Will summer and holiday schedules be different?
• How will exchanges take place / Who will transport the child?
• How will the parents communicate about the children?

Electronic communications can get a lot of people in trouble. Mindlessly sending messages via text, email, or social networking sites without thinking has come back to haunt many people – increasingly, many people going through the

Given the danger of such messages, specifically in family law cases, it’s critical that individuals preparing for a divorce follow certain rules to avoid trouble, including:

• First, assume that everything you write, post, text or tweet will later be read by a judge. Data from the American Association of Matrimonial Lawyers reveals that a startling 81 percent of all divorce cases last year used some form of evidence from a social media site. This means that the odds are very good that the stupid or hurtful thing you said on Facebook will be trotted out against you, so you should be careful to avoid needlessly giving the other side ammunition. Also, remember that messages can easily be taken out of context. Even if you feel like a nasty remark was provoked, a judge who is only seeing a snippet of an overall online relationship may not interpret it that same way. Do not give the other side the chance to make you look petty or worse, like an unfit parent.
• Second, resist the urge to express your anger in writing. Do not start arguments via text or email. Do not complain about your children or the behaviors of your spouse. Essentially, do not put anything overtly negative in writing. It is far too easy with the new instant forms of electronic communication to release some frustration and hit “send” before you’ve had a chance to calm down. If you feel like you’re going to explode, it’s best to talk to a therapist or another professional to find a healthy method of dealing with your feelings, rather than taking actions which could harm your case.
• Next, don’t trust your friends with sensitive or destructive information. Remember that if even one other person knows or sees something, you lose total control over what happens to the information. Even if your friends are trustworthy (some are / some aren’t), they may not have the proper privacy settings on their social media sites, which could allow others to can gain access to your profile and messages. In other cases, people might like to gossip, and telling one friend some juicy bit of information has a way of spreading to many others – and back to the other side and/or the judge.
• This leads to the final bit of advice – really think before writing any messages or posting any pictures. You should always ask yourself whether what you are about to say or do is something you would want your mom, your boss, or your children, your pastor, or the judge to discover. The moment you send information like that out into the world, it becomes part of the public record. If you would be embarrassed to have your children find it later on, that’s probably a good hint that you shouldn’t say it to begin with. 

Source: “Email, texting can become a WMD during a divorce or custody case,” by Myra Fleischer, published at WashingtonTimes.com.