South Carolina Family Law Blog

The Challenges of Co-Parenting in South Carolina

J. Benjamin Stevens — Thu, 09 Feb 2012 08:00:35 -0500

A recent advice column by Ann Nagley in the Midland Daily News discusses the challenge of raising happy children while in the midst of a contentious divorce. Nagley has developed a special understanding of the issues facing divorced parents as an intake coordinator with Family and Children’s Services in Midland, Michigan.

Parents have to adjust to a new role as co-parents while dealing with the pain of a dissolving marriage. The way children deal with divorce has much to do with the amount of conflict they witness their parents enduring. The following are tips on how to reduce the stress of co-parenting and protect the kids along the way:

Focus on the child: Your child should be free to continue loving both parents. Just because the person hurt you doesn’t mean they are a bad parent. The relationship your child has with both their parents affects their future relationships. By saying hurtful things about the other parent or limiting time together you can cause your child to become distant from that parent. Children need to be left out of the conflict between you and your spouse and enjoy time separately with both parents.

Take time for yourself: Divorce affects both spouses, the one leaving and the one getting left. Many people feel a mixture of sadness, anger, hurt and worry as a result. The emotional roller coaster can negatively impact not only you mental but physical health and, as a result, taking time to be alone and work through your thoughts is important. Having friends and family members for support can help you both as a person and as a parent.

Have co-parenting meetings: When you both feel ready, a meeting between both parents can be held to discuss issues about your child. These meetings help your child deal with change and help keep consistency between the different houses. Meetings should be brief and focus on simple, positive things involving your child. These meetings should ideally be conducted over the phone rather than risk an eruption with an in person meeting. Topics to be addressed include schedule changes, upcoming special activities, academics and behavior problem. If you simply cannot interact alone with your ex, consider using a mediator for these occasional brief chats.

Co-parenting lasts a lifetime, and while it might not be enjoyable you should do your children a favor and get used to it now.

If you find yourself in the midst of a custody fight, you need the help of an experienced South Carolina family law attorney to help you through the complex process.

Source: “Parenting together after divorce,” by Ann Nagley, published at OurMidland.com.

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Study Says Young Couples Feel Sting of Divorce Worst

J. Benjamin Stevens — Tue, 07 Feb 2012 08:00:14 -0500

A new Michigan State University study reveals that divorce at a younger age harms people’s health more than divorce later in life. Study author and sociology professor Dr. Hui Liu said the findings, published in the journal Social Science & Medicine, suggest older people are better prepared and possess the coping skills to deal with the incredible stress that results from a divorce.

Liu said the findings indicate that there ought to be “more social and family support for the younger divorced groups.” Liu suggested that this might include “divorce counseling to help people handle the stress, or offering marital therapy or prevention programs to maintain marital satisfaction.”

This study analyzed the health status of some 1,282 participants in a long-term national survey. Liu measured the gap in overall health between those who remained married during the 15-year period of the study and those who transitioned from marriage to divorce and at what age these transitions occurred.

Liu found the gap in health of study participants was wider at younger ages. For example, among people born in the 1950s, those who got divorced between the ages of 35 and 41 reported more health problems in relation to their continuously married counterparts than those who got divorced in the 44 to 50 age range.

Researchers were surprised to learn that divorce appears to have a more negative health impact on younger baby boomers than on individuals in older generations. Liu said she would have expected divorce to be less impactful for younger generations because divorce is so much more common among people their own age. Liu offered an explanation for the difference. Perhaps because the pressure to stay married is so strong among older generations only those with the unhappiest marriages actually moved for divorce and thus, felt relief when the divorce was finalized.

The study further confirmed something we mentioned in a previous post, that those who went from marriage to divorce experienced a generally more rapid health decline than those who remained married. A bit of good news is that those who remained divorced during the entire study period showed no difference with those who remained married. Liu said that this result shows that “it is not the status of being married or divorced, per se, that affects health, but instead is the process of transitioning from marriage to divorce that is stressful and hurts health.”

If you find yourself facing divorce, you need the help of an experienced South Carolina family law attorney to guide you through the stressful process.

Source: “Divorce Study: Splitting More Painful At Younger Age,” published at HuffingtonPost.com.

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Doing Away With Discrimination in Child Custody Cases

J. Benjamin Stevens — Mon, 06 Feb 2012 08:00:47 -0500

A recent bill before the Utah legislature, HB88, would add a statement to Utah’s divorce statute saying that courts, when making a custody determination, may not discriminate against a parent based on age, race, color, national origin, religious preference, or gender.

The bill’s sponsor, Representative Ryan Wilcox, R-Ogden, said he intends for the bill to ensure that judges consider both parents when deciding issues of custody, giving a complete look to both instead of the antiquated notion that the mother is a better choice in all circumstances.

One family who recently lost a young child after the drug addicted mother who won custody of her failed to prevent her death said that they were told, “unless the mother was in a hospital or a coffin there was nothing they could do.” Dan Deuel, of the American Parental Action League, said that “In my mind, no discrimination is a no brainer.”

While the committee unanimously endorsed HB88, some lawmakers expressed their displeasure at having to remind judges to be fair in the first place. Representative Curtis Oda said that, “The court is supposed to be balanced. It seems to be going in the other direction.” Another lawmaker, Representative Jennifer Seelig, said she supported the legislation because it addresses the long-held notion that mothers are better parents than fathers. “I think it has potential not only for changing the system but for changing hearts and minds,” she said.

Thankfully South Carolina has made a similar change when it abolished the “tender years” doctrine. What this means is that there is no automatic preference by the judge for the mother over the father – even when a child is very young. Rather, the preference is now the party that has been the “primary caretaker” of the child. In many cases, this preference results in the mother being awarded primary physical custody of the child and the father standard visitation. However, the South Carolina courts will certainly award a father custody in appropriate cases.

If you find yourself facing the prospect of a custody fight, you need the help of an experienced South Carolina family law attorney to guide you through the stressful process.

Source: “Bill would add nondiscrimination statement to child custody statute,” by Marjorie Cotez, published at KSL.com.

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Divorce and Social Security in South Carolina

J. Benjamin Stevens — Thu, 02 Feb 2012 08:00:53 -0500

For many elderly Americans, Social Security benefits are a critically important to their retirement and their financial existence. If you’re a baby boomer in charge of monitoring your parents’ finances or a retiree in need of the income, you should be aware that under certain circumstances it’s possible you might be receiving less than you should. If a woman is divorced or has been married more than once, or a woman’s husband delayed taking Social Security, she might be entitled to a bigger monthly benefit than she is currently receiving. Though the difference may not be especially enormous, it could be important to someone on a fixed income.

Though the problems are faced by both men and women, the fact that women typically earn less over their working lives means that they are more likely to be collecting less in benefits then they may be entitled to due to the earnings of a former spouse. This is because of rules which say an individual is entitled to collect Social Security benefits according to one of the following formulas: (1) based on his or her own earnings history; (2) 50% of his or her spouse or former spouse’s benefit if it is greater than their own; or (3) 100% if the former spouse is now deceased.

There are a few specific rules that must be met to receive this upward revision in benefits: (1) the marriage must have lasted 10 years or longer, and (2) the individual seeking a former spouse’s benefit must currently be unmarried, unless the second marriage occurred after the age of 60.

A great example of this is as follows: let’s say your mom only worked part-time and is now retired with an $800 per month Social Security check. Her former husband (your dad) made more money and worked longer hours and makes $2,000 per month in benefits. Rather than continue collecting the $800, your mother is actually entitled to collect $1,000 per month if your dad is still alive and the full $2,000 if he is deceased. As a bonus, if the Social Security Administration determines a spouse is eligible for increased benefits then that person will receive retroactive benefits going back six months.

This increase in benefits is important not only to family members watching out for an elderly loved one but also for those watching over senior citizens such as attorneys or debt counselors, even nursing home administrators and financial planners.

If you find yourself facing the prospect of retirement and want to make sure your financial interests are protected, you need the help of an experienced South Carolina family law attorney to guide you through the confusing process of divorce.

Source: “Boosting Mom’s Social Security Payments,” by Ellen E. Schultz, published at WSJ.com.

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Beam Me Up! One Divorcing Man Prepares to Lose His Starship Enterprise

J. Benjamin Stevens — Tue, 31 Jan 2012 08:00:22 -0500

According to a recent report on MSNBC.com, Tony Alleyne, a devoted Star Trek fan (a/k/a a “trekkie”) appears set to lose the apartment in England that he slavishly remodeled to mimic the Starship Enterprise. Apparently his soon-to-be ex-wife owns the apartment and is now attempting to sell the house as merely a “a conventional dwelling” after failing for years to spark interest in selling the home as is. The home is located in the English town of Hinckley and has been the property of the wife since their separation began in 1994.

Poor Tony seems more heartbroken at the demise of his apartment rather than his marriage. One British tabloid quoted the devoted fan as saying: “To say I'm gutted is an understatement. It is my life’s work. I admit there were tears.” This was no small job either as Alleyne estimates that for him to redo the project in a new apartment would cost more than $150,000.

MSNBC first reported on Alleyne back in 2006 when he was faced with bankruptcy after spending vast sums of money on the renovations. He was hoping to start a business aimed at transforming the homes of other trekkies. Alleyne said rather than spend time at the local pub or nightclub he enjoyed relaxing in the comfort of his spaceship. He describes himself as a “24th century interior designer” and is in the market for doing similar remodels should anyone be interested.

If you or someone you know is in the midst of a divorce and at risk of losing their own Starship Enterprise, you need the help of an experienced South Carolina family law attorney to guide you through the difficult process of divorce.

Source: “Divorce forces man to beam out of 'Star Trek' home,” by Gael Fashingbauer Cooper, at MSNBC.com.

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Understanding the Importance of a Prenup in South Carolina

J. Benjamin Stevens — Mon, 30 Jan 2012 08:00:18 -0500

Though most people would agree that marriage is a big step, representing an important change in their life, very few people realize the just how impactful the decision can be both legally and financially. After all, marriage is a contract entered into by two people and it entails many of the same possible ups and downs that all contractual relationships face. Joseph Cordell, the Principal Partner at Cordell & Cordell, says that after years of experience he believes few couples understand just how comprehensive this marriage contract is and how once you say “I do,” assets become complexly comingled in ways that are often difficult to unravel.

One of the things that many people may not realize is that even if one spouse contributes disproportionately more assets or income to the marital partnership, all of the assets may eventually become merged into one marital pie where the lesser contributing spouse is entitled to half. This means one spouse could walk away with a disproportionately larger share of the assets than they contributed. When couples agree to marry you also are agreeing to give your spouse half of all the wealthy you accumulate during the course of your marriage, and sometimes even after it’s ended.

People take a business-like approach to other major events with potentially important financial implications like buying a house or a car. Yet when it comes to marriage no research is conducted and no fine print is examined. A prenuptial agreement is an obvious way to do this and to attempt to ensure that your financial interests are protected. However, many people dismiss the idea as either being a sign of lack of genuine affection or as something only used by the ultra-wealthy, neither is true.

A recent poll by Harris Interactive showed that when asked nearly half of divorced people said they wish they had a prenup when they married. Forty-four percent of single adults say they would want a prenup and yet only about 5% of couples actually go through with it. Why the disconnect?

Rather than being an unromantic indication that you don’t trust your spouse, prenups should be sign as practical protection when the divorce rate hovers at 50%. It’s crucial that you take the necessary steps to secure your financial future in the even that happily ever after doesn’t come true. Perhaps the Michigan Supreme Court said it best when they wrote that prenups “allow couples the opportunity to ensure predictability, plan their future with more security, and, most importantly, decide their own destiny.”

Most people have worked hard for what they have and it would be a shame to lose half of it as a result of poor planning. If you or someone you know is considering a prenuptial agreement but has concerns, you need the help of an experienced South Carolina family law attorney to guide you through the process.

Source: “Careful Marriage Contract May Facilitate Less Painful Divorces,” by Joseph Cordell, published at HuffingtonPost.com.

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Are South Carolina Couples Done Saying "I do?" Not Necessarily Says One Expert

J. Benjamin Stevens — Thu, 26 Jan 2012 08:00:06 -0500

As of 2010, married couples had fallen to barely 51% of U.S. households, according to the Pew Research Center, with a full 5 percent drop in new marriages between 2009 and 2010 alone. The data for last year isn’t yet in, but if the decline continues then less than half of all adults will be married. Does this mean that marriage as we know it is dying? Not necessarily, according to Stephanie Coontz, a professor at Evergreen State College. Coontz’s most recent book is "A Strange Stirring: The Feminine Mystique and American Women at the Dawn of the 1960s."

The decline in marriage rates is dramatic when compared to the 1960s. Back then nearly half of all 18-24 year-olds and 82% of 25-34 year-olds were married. Those same figures in 2010 fell to 9 and 4% respectively. Today, the average age of first marriage is almost 27 for women and 29 for men, up from 20 and 22 in 1960.

This does not mean marriage is going the way of the dodo. Divorce rates have actually been falling for most of the last 30 years. More people are also marrying for the first time as late as their 60s and as gays and lesbians gain marriage rights many more young people previously barred from marriage might start taking the plunge.

The role of marriage as a stepping stone along the path to a stable future has eroded. Still, marriage is an important factor in financial success. In the 1960s, even a college-educated woman typically earned less than a man with only a high school degree, so getting married was seen as a tremendously wise investment in a woman’s future.

Even high school dropouts were seen as a good catch because wages were often enough to support a family once a steady job was secured. Since 1969, the wages for men with a high school diploma have declined 47%.

This means that women in low-income communities are now wary of marrying men without at least a college degree. If a woman does marry and then does not invest the needed time and money into her own education and career development but is hitched to a high school grad with limited prospects she might actually end up in a worse position economically than if she had stayed single. This explains why many couples in low-income communities tell researchers that they intend to wait for marriage until they have achieved some degree of economic stability.

Not being married further exacerbates economic inequality because the majority of marriages now involve two wage earners, multiplying the advantage of those who are able to find a partner and avoid a costly divorce.

Coontz does not believe that marriage is disappearing anytime soon. Most unmarried Americans say they want to eventually marry. However, times have changed and it is unlikely we will return to the era of early and lifelong marriage seen in the 1960s.

Source: “Marriage: Saying 'I don't',” by Stephanie Coontz, published at SacBee.com.

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Tips on Surviving Financial Infidelity

J. Benjamin Stevens — Tue, 24 Jan 2012 08:00:52 -0500

Divorce can result from many things, but financial reasons are chief among the causes. Most people have made purchases outside your agreed upon budget then lied to hide the evidence or made purchases without clarifying just how much the totals came to. Making decisions to put you and your spouse at financial risk can create trust problems that could ultimately lead to divorce down the road.

The best way to avoid these problems is to keep the lines of communication open and to talk candidly with your significant other about your finances. Suzanna de Baca of the Huffington Post offers the following tips for keeping conversation open and honest.

Agree on financial goals and stick to a mutually agreed upon budget :: Discuss your larger financial goals and be honest. What do you both want long-term and short-term? If you disagree then discuss how you’ll compromise and set common goals.
Discuss your money styles :: Everyone handles money differently and you need to be open about those differences. Are you an impulse buyer or are you a comparison shopper? If your styles differ wildly then you might want to consider opening separate accounts.
Forgive and forget, but take care of yourself :: If your loved one commits financial infidelity then weigh the situation and sit down and talk about the problem. If the action was especially egregious or was the second time, be honest about your feelings and how to move forward in the future.
Have regular financial conversations :: Having a trusted professional as part of the conversation can make a tough conversation easier. If you and your spouse cannot agree on priorities then setting up a regular meeting with a financial planner to serve as a mediator might be a good idea.

If you or someone you know is facing such a stressful divorce, you need the help of an experienced South Carolina family law attorney to guide you through the complicated process.

Source: “Are You a Victim of Financial Infidelity?,” by Suzanna de Baca, published at HuffingtonPost.com.

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Can Divorce Lawyer Be Forced to Testify in Client's Ex-Husband's Murder Trial? Maybe

J. Benjamin Stevens — Mon, 23 Jan 2012 08:00:44 -0500

An article on ABAJournal.com discussed how one Georgia Court was recently forced to answer a grim question: can a lawyer representing a murder defendant's wife be required to testify in the husband's criminal trial? A judge must now answer that question after hearing arguments regarding a motion to quash a witness subpoena for the wife’s attorney Esther Panitch.

Though it’s still the case that any information gathered by Panitch for the purpose of providing legal advice will remain confidential due to attorney-client privilege, the husband’s counsel argues Panitch has material information separate from her representation of the wife.

Just what exactly this material information is has not yet been revealed. Panitch originally acted as divorce attorney and now serves as advisor to the wife for the murder trial of her husband, Hemy Zvi Neuman.

Superior Court Judge Gregory Adams of DeKalb County Superior Court heard arguments on the witness subpoena issue just last week. One issue Adams heard concerned whether the prosecution must give more concerning the information Panitch may possess.

Her attorney and business partner, James R. Hodes, argued that Panitch does not have any relevant evidence concerning the murder case of her client’s husband and argued that subpoenaing her as a witness interferes with her ability to counsel her client effectively.

Husband’s attorney said that he anticipates “calling her as a witness, not because we are trying to get to information that she talked to Ms. Neuman about, but because we think she has independent facts that may be important in the case,” adding: “There is a legitimate basis for this subpoena, and I want to hold out the possibility that we may need to call her."

The case revolves around a murder allegedly committed by Henry Neuman, in his late 40s. He is accused of killing Russell “Rusty” Sneiderman, 36, in November 2010, after the Sneiderman dropped off his 2-year-old son at an Atlanta-area day care center. Neuman was the boss of Sneiderman's wife, and investigators say the two had been having an affair.

If you or someone you know is facing such a stressful divorce, you need the help of an experienced South Carolina family law attorney to guide you through the complicated process.

Source: “Can Divorce Lawyer for Defendant’s Wife Be Subpoenaed in Murder Case? Defense Counsel Says Yes,” by Martha Neil, published at ABAJournal.com.

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While Some States Slow Down Divorce, Others Put the Pedal to the Metal

J. Benjamin Stevens — Thu, 19 Jan 2012 08:00:16 -0500

As we mentioned in a post last week, some states have made a move toward lengthening their divorce process in the name of looking out for the best interest of children. New Jersey is evidently not as concerned with such things. In fact, New Jersey is set to become the East Coast version of Vegas.

Legislation is currently sitting on New Jersey Governor Chris Christie’s desk which would turn this into a reality. The bill, if signed, would make it easier to get married in the state and would also expedite the process of getting a divorce.

The bill was passed by both houses of the New Jersey Legislature last week and would eliminate a mandatory 72-hour waiting period for a marriage or civil union license. The speed comes at a cost, however. The bill would see the cost of a marriage license rise to $60 from $28. Additionally, the bill would allow couples to annul a marriage within 30 days without the need to go to a court. Specific details on how the annulment process would function are still being hammered out.

The current rules in New Jersey require those who want an uncontested divorce to wait at least six months. The number is reduced to three months if the couple can demonstrate that the marriage is not working and that there has been fault.

The new bill has its fans and its detractors. Some believe it will bring more visitors to the state, increase revenue and be a generally positive change for New Jersey. Others say it cheapens the sanctity of marriage and will lead to increased family problems in the state.

If you or someone you know is facing the prospect of a divorce in South Carolina and in need of advice on our state’s unique process, turn to an experienced South Carolina family law attorney for help.

Source: “New Jersey Weddings May Go Vegas Style,” published at WSJ.com.

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Think Breaking Up is Rough? New Study Confirms Divorce Can Kill

J. Benjamin Stevens — Tue, 17 Jan 2012 08:00:59 -0500

According to a recent article on HuffingtonPost.com, A new study entitled “Divorce and Death” appearing in “Psychological Science” shows that failed marriages can actually kill at the same rate as smoking cigarettes.

Results were shocking as numbers showed that the risk of dying is a full 23% higher among those that have gone through a divorce than married people. Researchers were stunned as they did not believe life expectancy would be slashed to ages comparable with smokers, heavy drinkers, and the obese.

Study authors David Sbarra and Paul Nietert make sure to point out that the association between divorce and death “cannot be deemed causal.” They never intended to imply that the moment you file divorce papers you might as well start picking out a lovely casket. Instead, the research indicates that “there is something uniquely difficult about remaining separated or divorced that accelerates time of death.”

It’s the cumulative strain of being a long-term single parenthood or the burden of a persistent conflict with an ex that causes the stress that can be a killer. Experts have long believed that interpersonal relationships and health are entangled in a complex way. In a sad way, one spouse’s damaging personality trait – whether hostility or negativity – can be responsible both for killing the marriage and, in the long run, for killing the ex.

Ex-husbands are at significantly higher risk of a premature death than their ex-wives. The reason is that it appears wives help keep their husbands alive. Men generally die younger than women, but wives are de facto caregivers. Studies dating back as far as the 1970s have shown that without a woman around, a man’s health fails and he typically refuses to do much about it. Though technology and the ease of self-diagnosis has improved the situation, these are usually afterthoughts. Companionship with a nurturing woman is a built in prevention for sickness in old age.

Though marriage is generally better in the long run than divorce for your health, the quality of the marriage is what is important. A strong relationship with open lines of communication is what is beneficial to the health of both spouses. If a divorced spouse can emerge from a terrible marriage and find happiness then that might actually be better in the long run.

If you or someone you know is facing such a stressful divorce, you need the help of an experienced South Carolina family law attorney to guide you through the complicated process.

Source: “Study: Divorce Can Kill At Same Rate As Smoking,” published at HuffingtonPost.com.

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Groomzilla Demands Not Only New Wedding Pictures, But Entirely New Wedding

J. Benjamin Stevens — Mon, 16 Jan 2012 08:00:11 -0500

In an extreme case of customer dissatisfaction, the Associated Press reports that a recently divorced man is now demanding that a photography studio pay to recreate his wedding to make up for what he has decided are flawed pictures and videos of what was supposed to be a perfect day. Many in the press dubbed Todd Remis a “groomzilla,” but he spoke out just this week saying that his lawsuit is actually about holding a business to a pledge, not clinging to a ruined marriage. Remis says the suit is because of the company’s “failure to deliver after a promise and a handshake” to retouch the wedding photos.

While suits over wedding photographs are a dime a dozen, Remis’ case contained an unusual spin: a demand that the company reconstitute the ceremony and celebration of a now failed marriage. Remis began divorce proceedings in 2008 and the couple officially split in 2010, with his ex-wife now back home in her native Latvia.

Despite the marriage no longer existing, Remis says that he needs the “wedding recreated exactly as it was so that the remaining 15 percent of the wedding that was not shot can be shot” and the album and video completed “so we have memories of the wedding.” In order to capture this missing footage Remis acknowledges that “we would need to recreate everything.”

Remis began his lawsuit against H&H Photographers in 2009, saying the respected New York City-area studio had done a lousy job of shooting his and Milena Grzibovska’s December 2003 wedding. Remis claimed that the chosen photographer ignored the couple’s request not to shoot in front of a mirror that ended up reflecting photographers’ lights. Moreover, the photographer and videographer left 45 minutes before the end of the reception, missing the last dance and the bouquet toss.

The couple paid a $3,500 advance toward a $4,100 total price for the photos and videos, part of a wedding Remis has said cost a total of $48,000. For their part, H&H co-owner Daniel Fried says he stands by the photographs and videos. “I think the photography is lovely,” Fried said. Back in 2004, Fried offered to adjust the photos and upgrade the wedding album. However, no offer to recreate the wedding was ever forthcoming. “Obviously, I couldn’t turn back the clock,” Fried said.

Fried says Remis never responded to their initial offer until he wrote in 2009 to demand a refund and interest – about $5,750 in all – and the completed photos and video. Judge Doris Ling-Cohan, who invoked lyrics from the Barbara Streisand hit “The Way We Were” in a ruling last year threw out some legal claims but let others go forward. “This is a case in which it appears that the `misty watercolor memories’ and the ‘scattered pictures of the smiles … left behind’ at the wedding were more important than the real thing,” she wrote. H&H co-founder Harold Gillet put it more bluntly in an August 2010 letter to the Court: “The divorce renders the further demands for photos, etc., ridiculous.” Though both sides have suggested they might be open to a settlement, the case continues for now.

If you or someone you know has had a marriage crumble and is seeking to move forward (as Remis clearly ought to be doing), you need the advice of an experienced South Carolina family law attorney to help guide you along the way.

Source: “Divorced NYC Man Suing Over Wedding Pics Speaks,” by Jennifer Peltz, published at AP.org.

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Smart South Carolina Couples Prepare for Trouble Regarding Their Divorce

J. Benjamin Stevens — Fri, 13 Jan 2012 08:00:25 -0500

As recently discussed in a post here, separation and divorce filings pickup dramatically in the month of January. Given that divorce is often on the mind following the holidays, now is a great time to give couple some advice on issues that may end up playing a big role in any future divorce.

Florida divorce attorney Brian M. Moskowitz says that, “At the start of a new year, many people follow through on a difficult decision that they have been contemplating for a long time and end their marriage.” The problem, according to Moskowitz, is that “many fail to consider what happens afterwards.”

Couples need to be aware of the challenges they will face and the thorny issues that often arise to make divorces even more difficult and contentious. Going into a divorce with that knowledge can help you come out the other side relatively unscathed.

According to Moskowitz, the five most common issues that arise after a separation or divorce are the following:

Remarriage (or cohabitation);
Loss of employment;
Relocation (often for work purposes);
Child-related issues, including timesharing, custody and visitation, as well as a child enrolling in a new school or going to college; and
Holiday and vacation schedules.

Each of these issues affect vital aspects of the divorce process, spousal and child support, custody, visitation, etc. Planning ahead and addressing these issues directly during mediation can help avoid problems down the road. A good example of such planning would be crafting an agreement that specified events which will trigger spousal support obligations to end or able to be modified in the case of remarriage or loss of employment.

Another would be the creation of a detailed parenting plan to establish exactly which holidays and vacation days parents will be able to spend with their children. A skilled South Carolina family law attorney can help with precisely these issues and avoid larger problems later on. ther issues not covered by specific agreements can always arise, but an experienced South Carolina family law attorney will be there to help.

Source: “As a New Year Starts, Boca Raton Divorce Lawyer Warns About Post-Marriage Stressors,” by Mike Dayton, published at PRWeb.com.

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Guest Post :: Dangerous Times, Protect Yourself from Domestic Violence during Divorce

J. Benjamin Stevens — Thu, 12 Jan 2012 08:00:07 -0500

Divorce can be a tough time for anyone, both mentally and physically. The strain can take a toll on even the sanest, most level headed couples, and it can also create dangerous situations for those couples that are a little less stable. Domestic violence can occur at any point of a relationship, but when tensions become heightened and stress levels are elevated, so are the chances for domestic violence.

Statistics show that 70 percent of all domestic violence instances occur after a couple has separated. Women should be aware of the increased danger and exercise caution. Also, it’s important for women to keep in mind that domestic violence is not limited to bodily harm, but can also consist of sexual abuse, emotional abuse, financial abuse, and psychological abuse. While only the first two are considered criminal behavior, the remaining three can have just as severe of consequences and can be psychologically crippling.

There are certain aggravating factors that women should be on guard for when going through a divorce. The factors that increase the chances for domestic violence include:

If your spouse suspects you of being unfaithful
A history of alcohol or substance abuse
Explicitly violent threats against you, your friends, or family
If you have children that are not the abuser’s

Women who suspect that their spouse might be susceptible to bouts of violence should meet with their divorce lawyers and make the situation apparent so that they can be out of harm’s way during the divorce proceedings. The last thing you want is your divorce lawyer to double up as your criminal defense lawyer.

The U.S. Department of Justice estimates that domestic violence affects over 32 million individuals. Generally, the abuse will follow a set pattern that contains a build up, blow up, and make up. The tension and hostility will gradually increase until the exploding point, at which the domestic violence occurs. After this, the offending party will almost always express a sense of remorse, but don’t let this fool you. Regardless of whether the remorse seems genuine or not, it is not an indication that the behavior will stop. You will need to take matters into your own hands and consult with your attorney.

If it plays a role in your divorce, let your divorce lawyer know so that they will settle the matter in court as opposed to mediation. Furthermore, your divorce lawyer can help you find a way to avoid joint custody and curtail visitation rights when necessary. Don’t let the situation get out of hand. Recognize the warning signs and protect yourself from domestic violence during your divorce.

About the Author: Christopher McCann is an Orange County and Los Angeles Criminal Defense Lawyer. McCann is a practicing lawyer at the law offices of Christopher J. McCann and writes on topics related to criminal defense and DUIs. McCann was voted as a “Rising Star Attorney” in 2010 by Southern California SuperLawyers Magazine.

Four Tips to Protect Your Finances in Divorce

J. Benjamin Stevens — Tue, 10 Jan 2012 08:00:49 -0500

As everyone knows divorce can be mentally, emotionally and financially exhausting. While there’s not always much to be done about the mental and emotional pain, financial damage can be mitigated with a little advanced planning and proactive effort. The following are several tips by Angela Colley of BusinessInsider.com on how to ready your money for a divorce.

Separate your bank accounts.

Many couples preparing for a divorce will leave their joint checking accounts open, not wanting to appear angry or bitter. However, a spiteful spouse might not be so considerate and could easily drain your joint account before you realize what has happened.

Establishing separate bank accounts and dealing with whatever uncomfortable conversation that causes is better in the end than taking the financial risk. The best advice would be take half the money from any joint account and place it in your own checking account.

Protect your credit.

If you and your former spouse have joint credit accounts all the hard work you put into building a solid score can evaporate after a series of poor financial decisions by your ex. Establishing separate credit and loan accounts critical.

First things first, order an official copy of your credit report from all three credit reporting agencies: TransUnion, Experian, and Equifax. Review the reports carefully and flag any accounts you share with your spouse. Though it may be uncomfortable, have a direct conversation with your spouse and decide who wants to keep what and how the accounts ought to be divided.

Dividing these debts isn’t as easy as that, however. You cannot just call a lender and ask to have your name removed if it’s a joint obligation. Instead, the debt must usually be repaid or refinanced in the name of only spouse. If the spouse responsible for the debt isn’t capable of having it refinanced alone then selling the asset or paying off the bill is usually the best move. Signing over control of an asset while leaving your name on the loan is a recipe for disaster and should be avoided at all costs.
Check on your insurance coverage.

If you’ve shared insurance coverage with your spouse you may now find yourself out of luck during a divorce. Plan ahead and negotiate a specific time to change the insurance, allowing yourself enough time to secure new coverage. Make sure that you have the necessary health, auto, and homeowners (or rental) insurance.
Last but certainly not least, taxes.

According to IRS rules, the year your divorce becomes final is the year your tax status changes to single. Other issues may arise to complicate the already tricky tax situation such as alimony payments or child tax credits. The first year of filing will likely be the most difficult and it may be a good idea to hire a tax professional for help.

Though separating money can be tedious and upsetting, it’s absolutely necessary to avoid opening yourself up to bigger problems later on. If you or someone you know is facing the daunting prospect of divorce, you need the advice of an experienced South Carolina family law attorney to help along the way.

Source: “4 Steps To Getting Your Finances Back On Track After A Divorce,” by Angela Colley, published at BusinessInsider.com.

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States Move to Put the Brakes on Divorce

J. Benjamin Stevens — Mon, 09 Jan 2012 08:00:12 -0500

Divorces are becoming more difficult to obtain in some states. For instance, if you want a divorce in Colorado, you may soon have to wait. A new bill is heading to the state legislature for approval and it seeks to add even more steps to the already complex divorce process.

State Senator Kevin Lundberg is the champion of the proposal. The Republican says child safety is the reason behind instituting the bill. “When there are kids involved, I believe that it is in the states best interest to ensure that the couple understands and considers what impact this has on their children,” Lundberg said.

Lundberg’s bill would require couples to undergo a six-hour training session on how children are impacted by their parents calling it quits. Though current state law dictates that parents attend a similar session, but it’s not nearly as in-depth.

Colorado attorney Catherine Burkey said, “When a case is initiated, then the people are ordered to go and attend a parenting class.” The primary difference with this new bill is that couples will now have to wait after completing the course. “There will be a period of months that they will wait before proceeding with the divorce,” Lundberg said.

Some divorce attorney’s agree that the proposed bill is a smart move. “This method of education is the best way that I know of at this point,” Burkey said. She anticipates that not everyone will be in favor of the bill, however.

Grand Junction Counseling, a group that specializes in helping families, says the more understanding parents have, the better. “Not only do you have the couple that’s going through this divorce, you have children going through a divorce. For the sake of the children I think it’s valuable,” Counselor, Stephen Anthony said.

Whether South Carolina will make such a radical move remains to be seen. A skilled South Carolina family law attorney will be able to help guide you through the process regardless.

Source: “Colorado legislator's bill seeks cooling-off period before getting divorce,” by Lynn Bartels, published at DenverPost.com.

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Facebook and Electronic Stupidity Come Back To Haunt Some in Divorce Cases

J. Benjamin Stevens — Thu, 05 Jan 2012 08:00:04 -0500

For many people Facebook is fun and harmless (unless you consider the amount of time wasted) diversion. They spend time talking with friends, looking at pictures, getting reacquainted with people from their past. However, the innocuous website has become a big player in marriage breakdowns as more and more spouses are getting caught sending inappropriate message or posting incriminating photos of themselves and others.

According to an article in the Daily Mail, one family law firm says that over a third of the divorce petitions it deals with cite Facebook as a contributing factor. Mark Keenan, managing director of Divorce-Online said: “Facebook has become the primary method for communicating with friends for many people and has taken over from text and e-mail.” According to Kennan what’s happen is that “People contact ex-partners and the messages start as innocent, but lead to trouble.” The real danger of Facebook is the opportunity it creates, “If someone wants to have an affair or flirt with the opposite sex then it’s the easiest place to do it.”

The most common reasons for Facebook causing issues in marriages is when one spouse discovers the other has sent flirty messages or lewd photos to another user. Another problem is when one spouse finds out the other has gone to events or cities that they had no knowledge of.

Messages written about spouses after couples have separated are also increasingly being used as evidence when divorce battles heat up. Keenan said that he always warns clients to keep off of Facebook while they are in the midst of a divorce, to do otherwise can cause massive problems. Keenan said that, “You see two sides of a couple battling out their divorce in public on Facebook. People make allegations about their husbands not paying maintenance or not picking up their children.”

Keenan leaves readers with a final bit of advice regarding holding your tongue, electronically: “People need to be careful what they put on Facebook as the courts are now seeing a lot more evidence being introduced from people’s walls and posts in disputes over finances and children.”

If you or someone you know is going through a difficult divorce and is in search of guidance, contact a skilled South Carolina family law attorney now to help guide you through the process.

Source: “The Facebook breakup: Social network site is cited in a THIRD of divorces,” by John Stevens, published at DailyMail.co.uk.

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Marriage-Be-Gone: The Benefits of Annulment in South Carolina

J. Benjamin Stevens — Wed, 04 Jan 2012 08:00:44 -0500

What’s the best way to avoid some of the time (and money) wasting fights that come along with divorce? Get an annulment instead. Unlike divorce, which acknowledges a marriage’s beginning and end, an annulment simply declares the marriage to be null and void, as if it never existed in the first place. “When a couple gets an annulment, it’s as if the marriage never existed to begin with,” says Kristin D. Hofheimer, a divorce attorney in Virginia Beach, Va.

This can be a great thing for your financial outlook. The reason is that in an annulment, the courts do their best to restore the individuals to their original financial state prior to the marriage. So, what money and property you brought into the marriage is what you will walk away with, including any debt that came along with you. Anything that is joint, either assets or debts, are typically divided equally.

The problem is that qualifying for an annulment isn’t easy, and it’s not meant to be. In South Carolina, annulments are very difficult to obtain and the Court will only consider them shortly after the marriage and for the following narrow reasons:

Mental Incapacity: South Carolina annulment laws states that a mentally incapacitated person cannot enter into a marital contract. If your spouse has a mental illness, you can claim annulment under South Carolina annulment laws.
Fraud: According to South Carolina annulment laws fraud is a legal annulment ground in South Carolina. If your spouse misrepresented him or herself or tricked you into marriage, you can obtain annulment in South Carolina.
Underage Marriage: A marriage of spouses, younger than the set legal marriageable age, can be annulled under South Carolina annulment laws.
Impotency: To get annulment on this ground constituted by South Carolina annulment laws, you have to show a medical proof of your spouse’s impotency.
Duress: Marriage under duress means compelling or threatening someone into a married. This is a valid annulment ground according to South Carolina annulment laws.
Venereal Disease (STD): If your spouse is infected with a sexually transferable disease, you can obtain annulment in South Carolina.

Couples who are in the process of getting an annulment and want to take action to protect their finances can typically approach joint debt in one of two ways:

Split the amount owed and each pay their share to take care of the debt.
One party can pay the entire debt and then sue the other party for half. If you’re trying to protect your credit, you may want to take care of the debt and let your ex reimburse you so you know an unpaid bill won't end up bringing down your credit score, Hofheimer says.

If you are able to get an annulment granted then you might want to seriously consider the option. Couples who can will avoid one of the worst aspects of divorce, namely the nasty financial disputes that can drag on for months.

If you or someone you know is facing difficult situations surrounding their marriage and is considering an annulment then contact an experienced South Carolina family law attorney to help advise you on the best legal path to take.

Source: “Annulment vs. Divorce: How It Impacts Finances,” by Tamara E. Holmes, published at CreditCards.com.

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More South Carolina Couples Divorce in January

J. Benjamin Stevens — Tue, 03 Jan 2012 08:00:38 -0500

Is there any truth to the belief that a new year brings new relationships? January is often referred to in family law circles as the “Divorce Month.” The Huffington Post reports that the combination of frantic holidays, family issues and financial stress can put small problems under a microscope and break already strained marriages.

The January divorce label has been applied for a reason; according to statistics published by eDivorcePapers.com, January does indeed have the most legal breakups. One Maryland divorce lawyer confirms that “Divorce Month” really does exist, saying that “Some attorneys take the last two weeks of the year off to get ready for the rush. January really does see a lot of divorces.”

The single biggest day for filing a divorce remains in doubt, though some groups have attempted to identify a single “D-Day.” The Legal Services Commission claims that “the first Monday after the kids return to school” sees the most filings.

A founder of DivorcedWomenOnline.com, Cathy Meyer, says that though filings are abundant in January, the search begins in earnest in December. Angry husbands and wives begin searching for information on divorce in the days immediately following the holidays. Meyer says that, “I see a huge increase in pageviews and searches the day after Christmas. People start looking for information before the New Year starts, but they can't do much until the attorneys are back in the office. January 12-16 seems to be the magic week for filings.”

There are many reasons for the New Year’s push, but one big reason is the kids. Often time couples have been struggling for months before the holidays. However, they attempt to put aside their issues and give their children one last happy holiday season with an intact family. When January rolls around the magic is gone and often, so is the marriage.

Taxes also impact a person’s decisions of when to file. Marital status is determined as of December 31 according to the IRS and if a couple wants to file returns jointly they must be married as of that day. Unhappy people facing financial stress may put off divorce until the New Year because they can’t afford to take the financial hit of filing separately.

Another spike occurs in July and August. The reason is that some parents file before the school year starts if they are thinking of relocating and enrolling the kids in a different school district. Summer routines are important as most parents don’t want to put the children through a painful divorce while they’re at home and bored with no distractions. Once the school year starts, parents are more apt to move forward with filing.

There’s no good time for divorce, January is as difficult as any other month. If you’re considering divorce then you need help from an experienced South Carolina family law attorney, no matter what month it is.

Source: “January: More Divorces Than Any Other Month?,” by Meghan Beresford, published at HuffingtonPost.com.

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Getting Your Groove Back After Divorce

J. Benjamin Stevens — Thu, 29 Dec 2011 08:00:32 -0500

According to the Wall Street Journal, if you’re an athlete looking to step up your game simply get a divorce! As Kobe Bryant prepares for a divorce fight there’s reason to believe that his playing won’t suffer at all. On the contrary, statistics show that other star players have actually performed better following their matrimonial meltdowns.

One recent example was last year’s divorce between Tony Parker and Eva Longoria. The divorce battle was public and painful, yet his numbers on the court improved. In 2009-2010, Parker averaged 16 points and 5.7 assists per-game. This year those numbers increased to 17.5 points and 6.6 assists as his team went on to a Western Conference-best 61-21 season.

The Miami Heat’s Dwyane Wade limped through a nearly three year long fight with his ex-wife which was finalized in 2010. During the ordeal he continued to score over 25 points per game. Steve Nash led the NBA in assists both the season before and the season after his marriage ended. After enduring a breakup in 2007, Jason Kidd improved his assist numbers. Vince Carter’s stats also went up during the 2006-07 season.

Kobe can’t count on guaranteed success, however, as not every case has played out this way. For instance, Kobe’s former teammate Shaquille O’Neal saw both his scoring and rebounding numbers drop significantly during the 2009-2010 season following his own divorce. An alternate explanation exists for the dip and that’s Shaq’s age. At 37, he’s nearing the end of his career and may be winding down irrespective of his marital difficulties.

The following chart shows several recently divorced players, the year of their divorce and the impact on their statistics. If you’ve been off your game and need help getting out of the rut you’re in contact a South Carolina family law attorney today.

How notable NBA players have performed before and following a divorce:

Player (Year)	Season Before	Season After
Reggie Miller (2001)	18.9 PPG, 44.0 FG%	16.5 PPG, 45.3 FG%
Vince Carter (2006)	24.2 PPG, 43.0 FG%	25.2 PPG, 45.4 FG%
Jason Kidd (2007)	9.2 APG, 40.6 FG%	10.1 APG, 38.5 FG%
Ron Artest (2009)	17.1 PPG, 40.1 FG%	11.0 PPG, 41.4 FG%
Shaquille O'Neal (2009)	17.8 PPG, 60.9 FG%	12.0 PPG, 56.6 FG%
Steve Nash (2010)	16.5 PPG, 11.0 APG	14.7 PPG, 11.4 APG
Tony Parker (2010)	16.0 PPG, 48.7 FG%	17.5 PPG, 51.9 FG%
Dwyane Wade (2010)	26.6 PPG, 47.6 FG%	25.5 PPG, 50.0 FG%
Kobe Bryant (2011)	25.3 PPG, 45.1 FG%	???

Note: APG and PPG are assists and points per game; FG% is field-goal percentage.

Source: “Can Divorce Be Good for Your Game?,” byJared Diamond, published at WSJ.com.

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