Back Roads, Charming Towns

A MidCentury Manifesto: Things I Will Do Over the Next 50 Months

Vikki Grodner — Sun, 19 Apr 2009 07:12:38 -0500

I turned 50 this week. I have neglected this blog and many of my passions for far too long.

I don't make new year's resolutions for public consumption, but I am a compulsive list maker.

In addition to recommitting myself to writing about great places to relax, relocate and retire, I commit to the following over the next 50 months as my own MidCentury Manifesto:

1. I will continue to feel 35, in mind, body and spirit, for as long as possible and will do all the things to make that be the case.

2. By the same token, I will embrace.my true age and wear it like a badge of honor. I will channel my friends Marianne Goldsmith and Helen Davis Chaitman, who are strong, bold women who provide inspiration by maintaining sharp minds and full lives.

3. I will continue to be confident in my choices. I will be honored to be too brash and "New York" for some in the South and to be too soft and Southern for some Northeastern counterparts, ideally resulting in a measured balance of tenacity and warmth. All of which I will be unapologetic about.

4. I will follow my philanthropic passions to engage in activities that are meaningful and transformational in my communities and in my personal growth.

5. I will continue to make our house a "happy" home in function and form.

6. I will acknowledge my klutziness and give up on learning to ski.

7. But by the same token, I will train for and participate in a half marathon in NY by 2010.

8. I will let my children continue to grow into the fine young adults that they are becoming. I will support them when they request it and let go when they need it. I will continue to be in awe of their beautiful resolve in the manner they chose to live their lives, in their goals and objectives.

9. I will complete the writing projects I have started. I will tell stories extracted from my life experiences, to learn lessons and to share experiences that are both entertaining and instructive.

10. I will learn to be a better daughter and daughter-in-law, more patient and caring in the way I interface with my parents. I see my friends who do not have the pleasure of having both parents in their lives any longer and realize how grateful I am that this is not yet my reality.

11. I will speak kindly of others. If I cannot, I will keep it to myself.

12. I will strive to be a better friend.

13. I will make fun a priority.

14. I will not wear a red hat and purple dress together. Ever.

15. I will travel to foreign lands and nearby destinations alike. I will continue to engage in dialogues with people during these travels to truly understand and appreciate their lives..

16. I will plant a garden and fruit trees. I will plant seeds for others as well.

17. I will engage in my hobbies and take time off from my work.

18. I will get straight teeth, smaller hips and a rosier complexion by wearing braces, engaging in exercise and drinking lots of water.

19. I will laugh. A lot. I will realize the fullness of my life and be genuinely grateful for it.

Comings & Goings

Vikki Grodner — Sun, 30 Dec 2007 21:34:49 -0500

For me and my family, 2007 has been a year of comings and goings.

Personally, my beloved mother-in-law, Ken's Mom and Stirling and Alex's Nanny has gone. My father-in-law has come into a new phase. The transition has been like most things in life, a little messy and unpredictable but necessary.

Stirling has gone to Senegal for three months of academics, cultural exchange and contemplation regarding her future careeer and life goals. Happily, she has come home safely.

Alex has gone from high school and come into his own as a college man. He has also -- as have we all -- come from New Jersey to return to our readopted hometown and my children's birthplace in Alabama.

We all have gone from a life that contained the excitement and complexities of living, working and playing in the Northeast and come to embrace the simpler pace of spending lazier days and nights in the South in proximity to family and, for Ken, life-long friends.

Professionally, I have gone through a phase of uncertainty, contemplation and reflection and come to a place I really like with new challenges, excitement and energy. I plan to embrace that energy and propel it out to each of you through this vehicle, Back Roads Charming Towns.

In 2008, we will come full circle and bring you the kind of information that can make a difference in your exploration of great places to relax, relocate and retire. We can't wait!

A Spirited Lady

Vikki Grodner — Tue, 16 Oct 2007 07:14:52 -0500

Three weeks ago, our hearts broke a little. That is because my mother-in-law, one of the reasons we left the BC and returned South a few months ago, passed away. She was a spit of a woman, not even five feet tall, whose fierce love of "her boys" and her faith, enveloped in a sugary Southern package are what defined her.

She and my father-in-law are the ones who have made my husband Ken and I members of the "sandwich generation." My own parents also live here but are still vibrant and independent, needing no attention from us in terms of helping them to fulfill their needs or to orchestrate their lives. Charlotte and Paul, being older, were and are different.

As my mother-in-law's health declined, my father-in-law became her caregiver. As we heard the stress build in his voice and watched her needs engulf his days, we finally intervened, along with Ken's brother Brian and my sister-in-law Linda to get them into a facility that suited their changing lives.

From the beginning, Charlotte fought it. She constantly told us she hated "this damn place," the predicament in which she found herself and her inability "just to be me." She dreamed of dancing again with Paul, her favorite jitterbug partner. She continued to adhere to as many of the customs and traditions of her Jewish faith as she could in her new surroundings. And she lived for visits from her beloved boys, grandchildren, husband and brother.

Over the last two years, her memories and her light began to fade. In spite of the fact we had moved to the community months ago, every time I would come for my weekly visit she wanted to know when we were going to relocate here. When I said we already lived here, it always struck her as if she was hearing it for the first time. Then she would ask where we were staying. I would patiently remind her that we had bought her house and were staying there. "Is that OK?" I would inquire. "Oh sure" was her steady response.

Similar dialogues would occur with regularity. When she would get stuck on something, it could occupy an entire Thursday conversation. One week I had suggested we take her from her room in the skilled nursing facility to my father-in-law's independent living apartment for a movie outing. I wanted her to see "The Sound of Music," one of her favorite's, and to indulge her love of sweets. Stirling, Paul and Charlotte's now regular caregiver, DeLois, were also in attendance. Once everyone was settled and because I was also comfortable -- and knew the plot line -- I didn't feel bad about taking a cat nap in the middle of the feature. Not only did Charlotte pick up on my detour but it became fodder for my next several visits. "You fell asleep during the movie," she would announce with a mixture of accusation and glee. It was a "transgression" that she liked to hold over me and repeat again and again. And again. For Charlotte, it was one of the few amusements that remained in her life.

Charlotte had always been frightened of death. In fact, on more than one occasion she had seemed to will herself to make it through a health scare or situation that would have fell a less determined individual. We referred to her as a "cat," with multiple lives. She survived a negative drug interaction, that dropped her weight to 70 pounds, creating a pharmaceutical cocktail we were told would have killed a person with three times her heft and stamina. A broken hip. Two bouts of pneumonia. Loss of oxygen to the brain during surgery. Charlotte survived them all.

In the end, she left us exactly as she would have wanted. Saturday, September 22 was a beautiful autumn day. It was also the holiest of the Jewish holidays, Yom Kippur. After visiting our synagogue, Ken, our son Alex and I went to see Charlotte. With prayer book in tow, my husband and son led a simple -- but meaningful and personalized -- service for Charlotte. In the middle of it all, Stirling called from Senegal and got to speak with her grandmother. When we left, she was peaceful and content.

The next morning the phone call arrived. Charlotte, having made it through another round of Jewish holidays and having spent precious time with family she loved, had passed away in her sleep, among her dreams. She was a devoted daughter and decades later still spoke with reverent adoration of her own parents. Now, we knew, she was finally with them. And if she couldn't be here, with all of us, this was exactly where she wanted to be.

Good night, sweet Charlotte.

An Unexpectedly Charming Lane

Vikki Grodner — Thu, 19 Jul 2007 13:54:19 -0500

While the purpose of Back Roads, Charming Towns remains to chronicle great out-of-the-way getaways in small town America, I was totally enchanted by Emily Prager's account in today's New York Times of the microcosm she discovered in the center of bustling Shanghai. The parallels between anyone leaving the B.C. to explore a simpler way of life, regardless of on which side of the planet you do so, are striking.

Prager and daughter Lulu set off on the ultimate adventure when they escaped New York's overpriced burgers and real estate to discover a community in this corner of Shanghai that in many ways resembles small town living. Situated in what is referred to as a lane house, the petite structure that the Pragers call home is situated on a lazy side street off of one of the city's busy boulevards. Within such lane house communities, a village economy and mentality emerges.

Eager merchants provide small town-style customer service, hawking their wares often with door-to-door service. Newcomers are welcomed with a combination of appreciation and hospitality that is hard to beat (great people are great people everywhere). On a warm evening, lane residents come outside and hold impromptu barbecues. In all, Prager has discovered a "grace" and genorosity among people who are only too eager to be of assistance, whether it is in paying a bill or planting your latest garden acquisition.

However, there is also the joy and confusion of learning about local oddities and customs. Since our own relocation, we have been educated on the poka run at Smith Lake; the endless fascination with the perceived second coming of Coach Paul "Bear Bryant: in new Alabama head football coach Nick Saban; and a reintroduction to pumping your own gas and left turn lanes when driving (virtually both non-existent in New Jersey, where my children learned to drive).

Clearly the differences in customs between New York and Shanghai have been a little more pronounced for Prager, who has had tiger paws thrust at her for purchase in a local market, and whose family dog is still a rarity to her neighbors (the Chinese have only recently begun to keep pets). One of the more luxurious -- and unexpected -- favored activities is ballroom dancing at twilight in a nearby park.

To read Emily Prager's account in full detail, you can visit the article here.

Losing My Voice

Vikki Grodner — Thu, 19 Jul 2007 12:10:03 -0500

I have lost my voice. Figuratively anyway.

I find the writing and this topic -- both of which are still very much huge passions -- a bit more labored to come by at the moment. Like so many things in our lives, if we don't practice and refine a talent, we can became stale and awkward in our execution. I ask for your indulgance as I rediscover my blogging chops.

So while I am enjoying exercising my literary muscle again, I must admit it is a little sore from lack of stretching. Looking forward to getting my endurance back up for the marathons ahead.

The Dollars And Sense of a Second Home

Vikki Grodner — Tue, 17 Jul 2007 18:27:05 -0500

We recently hosted a high school graduation party for Alex at my sister Sheri and brother-in-law John's getaway place at Smith Lake in Warren County, Alabama. As is so typical of me, before the weekend was over, I was scheming and dreaming about building a place of our own along these same shores.

Ken's reaction? Sell that book you're writing and then we'll talk. While this wasn't an unenthusiastic response (although it might sound that way), this Sunday's Parade magazine offered even more practical commentary on the "dollar and sense" of such a purchase.

Like others of our generation, my reasons for wanting such a property are simple.

I believe it is a good investment (a fact beared out by the appreciation that John and Sheri's little corner of heaven has realized in the past four years).
I want to establish a family base that we can share with our children and their future children, eventually passing it along to the whole lot.
And the sense of peace and calm in this magnificent setting is truly indescribable.

Last year, 36% of residential sales were for reasons just like these, as more and more boomers rushed to purchase second homes, according to the article. Author Vivian Marino's other pointers:

Look for "hidden gems" that have many of the attributes and proximity to better-known, affluent second home communities (think Bluffton, SC, vs. down-the-road neighbor Hilton Head). Check out up-and-comers Blue Hill, Maine; Guilford, Connecticut; Port St. Joe, Florida; Carolina Beach, North Carolina; Gold Beach, Oregon; Bigfork, Montana; Wallace, Idaho; and McKinleyville, California.
Use the rule of supply and demand to make smart buying choices. If there is limited land to be developed or a limited type of attractive property (a three bedroom condo, for example) in a market, chances are good that your investment will only increase in value.
Local banks and credit unions may provide better rates on second home loans, which sometimes require higher rates or larger down payments.
Deductions you may be able to realize include interest and taxes. If you rent out the house during the year, such expenses as advertising, maintenance and depreciation may also be deductible, sometimes even allowing you to claim a loss.

Now time to get cracking on that book!

THE Move

Vikki Grodner — Mon, 16 Jul 2007 08:32:10 -0500

For a blogger extraordinaire, the last few months would have provided ample opportunity for content, content, content.

However, from my perspective, it seemed rather self-absorbed to write about every nuance of our move in numbing detail. Instead, I thought it would be more useful to encapsulate a few lessons learned from our recent familial excursion into a single narrative.

LESSON 1: It takes twice as long as you planned to pack up a lifetime of treasures. Our friends the Morras probably have the right idea. When they move from New Jersey to La Jolla, California next year, they plan to move into a furnished home and "travel light."

This would never work for us, a tribe of sentimental pack rats. Our packing was further complicated by the fact that we were going to put many of our belongings in storage to accommodate our smaller digs and immediate renovations. A manifest of what was packed in each box helped to sort things out on the receiving end.

So if you think it will take two weeks to pack up, give yourself four.

LESSON 1A: Similarly, time lines for renovations at the other end should also be doubled (at a minimum).

LESSON 2: Some movers (as in our movers) don't regard you or your belongings. They also don't keep their word, even with a "binding" bid. In spite of our best efforts (interviewing and receiving quotes from eight potential companies and having extended conversations/negotiations with three), we were still socked with a bill well in excess of what we had planned on or agreed to. And for that "pleasure," we ended up with an inventory sheet full of damaged, broken and disregarded antiques and mementos (mostly the ones we didn't pack ourselves). I am convinced I will never put myself or my family through a move of this magnitude again.

LESSON 3: In spite of Lessons 1 and 2, our relocation was/will be worth it in so many ways. We made this move for a number of reasons.

FINANCIAL: While we adored many things about Basking Ridge and the surrounding area, New Jersey has some of the country's most exorbitant property taxes. Like so many others, we wanted to escape that level of taxation. Other financial advantages are a lower cost of living and the ability to sell our house in NJ and buy a house in AL with no mortgage (all factors to consider when evaluating a voluntary relocation).

EMOTIONAL: We also wanted to follow our children -- both of whom decided to attend college in the south, Stirling has been in North Carolina for two years and Alex will attend the University of Alabama in the fall. By returning to the Birmingham area, we ensured that we won't be paying non-resident fees for both kids all four years (an annual tuition savings of $10,000 a year for the final three of Alex's college career).

And speaking of returning, we have come back to my husband's hometown and the place where my own family migrated to and established roots over 25 years ago. Even more ironic, we have gone so far as to resettle into his childhood home. That's right -- the room where he studied math is now the same place where he now conducts international conference calls as managing director at a consulting firm. A little surreal, as he will be the first to tell you, to be sure.

In the meantime, one of my sisters and her family moved right around the corner from Ken's childhood home two years ago. This turn of events instantly strengthened bond between all of us -- the kids with the kids, the adults wth the adults, the kids with the adults and visa versa -- and has been an additional reward (not unexpected, but a magnificent joy nevertheless).

My other sister and her family also live close by. Alex has found himself a bit of a "pied piper," the fun, older cousin who has returned (he did live here for three weeks as an infant) after a lifetime of living afar. He has clearly benefitted from my lead and is the ultimate "fun time" organizer -- pulling together impromptu swimming get togethers, bowling parties and movie nights.

So as we muddle through an ocean of boxes, endless disorganization and layers of sheetrock dust, it all feels just right (as we hope your own relocation does).

Hello Again! Welcome to the new and improved BRCT

Vikki Grodner — Sun, 15 Jul 2007 22:38:44 -0500

It goes without saying that Back Roads, Charming Towns have been on "hiatus" for the last few weeks. But rest assured, we have not been lolly-gagging about.

Recently, our home base has moved from one charming town to another. In fact we pulled up stakes and moved from one part of the country to another (more on that later).

We have been reworking and rethinking how to best present information to you on "great places to relax, relocate and retire." You will see many of these changes implemented in the coming months, with more information and opportunities for interaction than ever before.

And I will continue to provide personal insights and experiences on our family's own quixotic search to find our "perfect" place to relax, relocate and retire.

As always, we welcome and encourage your input, ideas, thoughts and anecdotes. So don't delay -- become part of the BRCT community by telling us about your favorite back roads and charming towns! We look forward to exploring them with you.

new locations, new features

Vikki Grodner — Tue, 03 Apr 2007 23:36:19 -0500

We will be relaunching BRCT this summer with more elements, information and interactive features including podcasts, targeted feeds and community-building aspects. Please look for the new and improved Back Roads, Charming Towns in a few months.

In the meantime, we will continue to share periodic entries on great places to relax, relocate and retire.

In the Land of Cardboard Boxes

Vikki Grodner — Wed, 28 Mar 2007 08:45:12 -0500

Boxes, boxes everywhere. That is much of my life these days. As D Day approaches in our move south, I find that more of our possessions than not are wrapped, bubbled and labelled.

I remember when Stirling and Alex were wee ones and Ken worked for a furniture retailer. In those days, we also often found ourselves surrounded by boxes, but for different reasons.

As everybody knows, for small children the box is as intriguing as the gift at birthday or holiday time. On many occasions, Ken would cart home refrigerator or television boxes and they became places to build magical fantasies and family memories. In fact, for Alex's seventh birthday we even constructed an eight-foot tall ship hull to grace the front yard and introduce the party's pirate theme.

These days, it is Smokey who has made empty boxes into his playground. Yesterday, when I assembled and stacked 50-plus empty boxes to expedite the moving process, Smokey was in kitty heaven, leaping and tumbling from one box to the next. It provided a much needed light-hearted moment at an otherwise hectic time.

Until the next time I can report back from the moving circus . . .

Three Week Recap: Change Is NEVER Easy

Vikki Grodner — Mon, 26 Feb 2007 19:49:46 -0500

On the menu of life's greatest stressers, the following are all typically at the top of the list: job change, relocation, becoming an empty nester and gutting and rebuilding a home from the inside out. We are in the midst of experiencing all of these at Casa Grodner. As a result, stress levels are sometimes high, and hours in the day often too few. All great BRCT fodder.

Home Sweet Home: We figured if we gave ourselves five months we might be able to sell our house by Alex's graduation at the end of June. The happy but bittersweet news is that we were able to move it on our own in less than two weeks; the closing will follow in two months. A little bit of luck, a little bit of stardust, and Alex keeping his room clean all resulted in the desired outcome.

If you are relocating and interested in trying to sell your home on your own (also known as a FSBO), here are some tips that helped us:
- We created a detailed, seven-page flyer on our home chock-full of color photos and descriptive writeups on each room.
- With this tool in place, we did a lot of grass roots marketing: sending it by e-mail to everyone we knew who might have been remotely interested or who might have known someone who would be interested in a house like ours. We also offered an incentive to our friends and family if they brought us the ultimate buyers. Finally, we created a slightly different version of the same flyer and distributed it to local realtors and offered them a guaranteed 2% commission if they brought us a buyer (as opposed to the 5-6% we would have had to shell out if we listed the home initially with a realtor as a seller's agent).
- The flyer was also distributed in a brochure box on a professionally printed sign in front of the house. I found a great online resource in www.buildasign.com. They offered many choices, reasonable prices and quick turnaround and delivery.
- Another terrific website is www.zillow.com. Many people know you can use it to research property values and/or tax assessments. But it also has a feature where you can list information on your home for sale (almost as much as I had put in our seven-page flyer) free of charge.
- We also held two open houses and ran an advertisement in the local newspaper.

So now we will move on. We are going to take Ken's childhood home, which had gotten tired and sad, and return it to its roots as a "happy home." We are going to make it a fun and fabulous place for our college-age children to come home to. It will never be our magnificent and roomy Basking Ridge house -- the one I said I would only leave feet first -- but it will definitely be home. A jewel box of a place we will create from our memories as a family and our hopes for the future.

The Birdies Leave the Nest: You know the day will come, but they say you are never really ready for it. I am still not sure how I am going to do. When Stirling left 18 months ago, I knew I would miss her terribly but was so thrilled for what I knew would be an exciting experience that I got past my own issues to embrace the euphoria of the moment. And of course cell phones and a habit of talking at least once a day also helps.

But when Allie hits the door, then Ken and I will be the real deal: empty nesters. I think about this a lot these days. Because I have the same hopes for the promise of Alex's college experience, I know I will be thrilled for him as well. And I know that the four of us have enough of a bond that both children will come home often.

But the uncertainty of all the rest of it -- how I will fill my time, what changes I will be making in my career, how our relationships will change -- are all still to be determined.

As long as we can keep our sanity, it's all just part of the "excellent adventure."

Georgia's Peachy Keen for The Relocation Crowd

Vikki Grodner — Wed, 07 Feb 2007 22:22:16 -0500

Georgia is gaining ground on Florida as a preferred relocation and retirement destination for snow birds and sun worshipers alike. At least, that is the conclusion to be drawn from the recently released United Van Lines' annual migration study.

Specifically in 2006, United statistics showed that for the first time ever more people moved out of Florida rather than into the Sunshine State. United, the nation's largest mover, finds that its results often mirror state and federal demographic statistics. The company has been evaluating this information for the past thirty years.

Why do so many folks have Georgia on their mind?

Florida's rising property insurance costs, unfavorable tax laws and a fear of hurricanes are just several reasons why folks are seeing the Peach State as a juicy alternative. But it is also the sweet benefits that Georgia offers to retirees -- such as free tuition to state universities and a recent pledge from the governor not to tax retirement income -- that have resulted in the state having the fourth fasting growing population nationwide.

On a personal note, a varied landscape of mountains, lakes and shore; attractive and reasonable housing stock; mild but seasonal weather; and easy movement in and out of the state via Hartsfield-Jackson Atlanta International Airport are some of the reasons our family has considered relocating back to Georgia in recent months.

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The Mmmetuchen Inn

Vikki Grodner — Fri, 19 Jan 2007 10:02:25 -0500

NJ: Fran and I are both professional refugees of the B.C. As two Jersey girls, when we decided to get together for lunch earlier this week, it made sense to find a midway point in our state to rendezvous. Due to the hour time difference between charming Middletown, her neck of the woods, and Basking Ridge, mine, we had to do a little research to find a location. To our good fortune, we discovered the perfect spot in the quaint and tasty Metuchen Inn (above).

The Inn has served discriminating diners in this southern New Jersey town since 1843. Three working fireplaces, beautiful woodwork and heavy ceiling beams act as an exquisite backdrop for meals that are notable for their simplicity and sophistication.

We each started lunch with a salad -- watercress with pear chutney, toasted walnuts and Stilton bleu cheese for me; mixed greens with shitake mushrooms, cucumber and lemon garlic vinaigrette for Fran. Although the pastas, sandwiches and meat plates looked terrific, we both opted for fish (it is still time for new year's resolutions, after all!). Fran had the crisp striped bass with tomato, lentil salad and wilted arugula. I opted for the seared Atlantic salmon with roasted bite-size beets, grilled portabella, and butternut squash puree. All the dishes were visually interesting, while light and robust in flavor due to the fresh ingredients used in prepared them. If you wish to accompany your meal with wine, the Metuchen Inn boasts a world-class selection.

Prices are reasonable with luncheon salads and appetizers ranging from $6.50-11.50, entries from $9-17. The Inn also serves dinner.

The Metuchen Inn
424 Middlesex Avenue
Metuchen, NJ 08840
732.494.6444
www.themetucheninn.com

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A Show for NE Snowbirds

Vikki Grodner — Fri, 12 Jan 2007 11:30:27 -0500

For those living in the Northeast but with dreams of moving to warmer climes, there is an upcoming travel show you won't want to miss.

From January 19-21 at the Hilton in Parsippany, New Jersey, Living Southern Style magazine will be hosting the Live South Real Estate Show, the largest resort and retirement real estate show in the country. Meet experts, attend seminars on topics from building your dream home to selecting the right location, and visit exhibitors from Delaware to Florida, South Carolina to Virginia and every state in between.

Just the Facts
The Live South Real Estate Show is from 5 - 8 p.m. on Friday, 10 a.m. - 5 p.m. on Saturday and 11 a.m. - 3 p.m. on Sunday. Attendance is $15 per person at the door, but is complimentary if you pre-register by calling 1.888.248.2989 or online at www.livesouthshows.com.

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Happily Unwired

Vikki Grodner — Thu, 11 Jan 2007 11:02:59 -0500

In spite of being enamored with my new rustic memory stick (it arrived yesterday and is true perfection!), I told a friend earlier this week that I felt like there will be a backlash sooner rather than later of people becoming exhausted with the expectation (their own or others) that they will be connected 24/7. Apparently I was more prescient than I realized.

In today's USA Today, Janet Kornblum writes about a small but defiant community of "tech-no's" who are perfectly pleased with not being so easily accessible to others.

Some of those individuals Kornblum writes about don't need e-mail to conduct their personal or professional lives. In many cases they work for themselves, often in creative endeavors. Others have retired and don't have a need to be too caught up in being connected. A handful are even teens, who just aren't that interested in "Facebook this" and "You Tube that."

In most cases, tech-no's are not trying to live in the dark ages. They just realize they may not NEED all that connectivity. What could they possible covet more? A little peace and, in turn, a lot of bliss.

My sister Sheri is one such individual. Although she has had her own business for the past 15 years, because it is a more creative endeavor she doesn't use a computer, e-mail or the internet on a daily basis. In the last six months, she has finally launched a website for her home decor business, www.sewsheri.com. And when she leaves town for a few days, she makes sure the answering machine is in the "off" position, so she won't be stressed out by an endless stream of messages and work projects when she returns.

But again, it is the concept of need -- a prioritization of what is actually necessary vs. cluttered, fast-paced confusion -- that defines the tech-no crowd. And sometimes, there can even be a little envy amongst those who are part of the Blackberry generation towards those who live a simpler, disconnected life.

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Staying On Course: It's Never Easy

Vikki Grodner — Wed, 10 Jan 2007 23:08:13 -0500

Yesterday was D Day. The day that circumstances nudged me to begin the journey that will mark 2007 as a year of true change.

Of course, today reality hit when I got sidetracked by a misbehaving mobile phone and an erratic elbow.

For the last several months, I have been strategizing about leaving the B.C. on a daily basis. Yesterday, I took the first baby step towards that goal when I jumped from the security and daily drudge of being a marketing chick for someone else to become a promotional superwoman for me, myself and I (and hopefully, in the near future, a bevy of appreciative clients).

However, following your passions sometimes involves cold, hard truths. Like getting a Treo to accept e-mails without the assistance of a handy tech department down the hall (I think tomorrow will actually result in a "mission accomplished"). Or figuring out whether contacts I wanted to move from point A to point B should be in a .pst or .csv format? (It was a .csv.)

Or being able to maintain your focus when you get served up one of those scheduling surprises. In this instance, Alex's best friend Dave got smacked upside the head by a wayward elbow during basketball practice, resulting in a concussion while his folks were out of town. This meant that as opposed to working on the two proposals and stacks of papers I had targeted for tonight, I spent the evening hanging out with a groggy 18-year-old and his ever loyal sidekick in the emergency room.

Yet one could also look at this evening's events as "this is what is really important" epiphanies. No more worrying about fragile egos or innane systems ahead of helping a friend and bonding with people who matter. Even though I certainly didn't think that hanging with Dave and Alex at Morristown Memorial was part of any master plan, I can't think of anything that better reflects my values than where I was tonight.

Besides, there are 355 days still remaining for chasing dreams in 2007.

Art & Fun Are Crystal Clear at WheatonArts

Vikki Grodner — Sun, 07 Jan 2007 09:00:12 -0500

NY & NJ: When Alex went with his friend Sam to the Goldsmith
family lake house in Ithaca, New York a few summers ago, he
naturally enjoyed the seasonal pursuits of splashing, running and relaxing that such a location inspires. But one of the more surprising outcomes of his trip was a visit to the Corning Museum of Glass, a first-rate museum and educational center with one of the world’s premier collection of art and historical glass. Here Alex witnessed glass being blown, twisted and made into objects both artistic and functional, and even got to try his own hand at the art. A delicate crystalline flower in swirls of blue, yellow and white is an object of great pride that continues to evoke a smile and memories whenever it catches his eye.

While Corning may be a more recognized name for some in the annals of glass lore, glass production is equally indigenous to the small southern New Jersey community of Millville. And there, one will find the very special WheatonArts.

Millville is the location of America’s earliest successful glass factory, founded in 1789 by Caspar Wistar. In 1888, Millville pharamacist Theodore Corson Wheaton began making his own bottles in a local facility, ultimately providing the beginnings of giant glass manufacturer, Wheaton USA. When Dr. Wheaton’s grandson visited the Corning Museum of Glass in the 1960s, he discovered that much of the glass on display was in fact produced in Millville and other small towns throughout southen New Jersey. From this idea developed the now well-regarded WheatonArts (formerly Wheaton Village).

The “Village” initially consisted of the museum collection (this is now the administration building), a General Store, a museum store called the “Brownstone Emporium,” and support facilities. Over the years, the Museum of American Glass, the T. C. Wheaton Glass Factory, Dr. T. C. Wheaton Pharmacy (now the Down Jersey Folklife Center), West Jersey Crafts (now The Gallery of Fine Craft), Arthur Gorham Paperweight Shop, Crafts and Trades Row and a barn were added. In all, WheatonArts today consists of over 20 buildings dotted across a 60-acre landscape.

In the early 1980s, a program to support emerging contemporary glass artists was created through the Creative Glass Center of America. Most recently, WheatonArts is a 2007 recipient of a $25,000 grant from the National Endowment for the Arts, providing residency fellowships for 12 glass artists.

A fully operational glass factory presents daily, interpretive demonstrations for the public with artists showing traditional and contemporary glassblowing techniques. In the Craft Studios artists demonstrate traditional southern New Jersey crafts of pottery, wood and flameworking. The 1863 C. P. Huntington Train, 1876 Centre Grove Schoolhouse, Arthur Gorham Paperweight Shop, Christmas Shop, and Education Center round out WheatonArts.

Millville also has an interesting story to share as a redeveloping industrial town of 27,000. Known as the Holly City of America, this rural community situated on the Maurice River prides itself on its community spirit and neighborly quality of life. Millville is currently redeveloping the waterfront as a vital downtown feature, as well as the Glasstown Arts District, complete with walkways, a boardwalk, and public places. The town is located just 45 minutes from Cape May, Atlantic City, Wilmington, DE and Philadelphia,PA.

Perfect for children, history buffs, art enthusiasts and weekend travellers, WheatonArts is a great way to warm up a chilly winter day: enjoying hot contemporary art and learning about a molten, age-old technique in a redeveloping industrial small town.

Just The Facts
WheatonArts winter hours (through March) are Fridays, Saturdays and Sundays from 10 a.m. – 5 p.m. Shopping and strolling on the grounds is free. During winter months, museum admission is $9 for adults, $8 for senior citizens, $6 for students and free for children 5 and under.
If you wish to make this a weekend trip, there is a Country Inn on the property.

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And The Winner Is . . .

Vikki Grodner — Sat, 06 Jan 2007 21:07:03 -0500

Southern Living released their annual Readers’ Choice Awards winners in the publication's January 2007 issue. Great escapes suggested by their readers and editors that are BRCT-focused and worthy of your consideration include (drum roll please):A Favorite Resort/Hotel
Cheeca Lodge in Islamorada, Florida

Located on Matecumbe Key, an hour south of Miami, Cheeca Lodge combines elegant amenities with a casual attitude. Thatched hut dining, eco-tours, spa treatments and gorgeous surroundings all await you at Cheeca.
www.cheeca.com or 800.327.2888

A Favorite Beach Town/Resort
Gulf Shores/Orange Beach, Alabama

Orange Beach is home to the largest Charter Fishing Fleet on the Gulf of Mexico and a favorite vacation spot for many. The city was founded by boat builders and charter fishermen. Orange Beach is fortunate to have much in the way of artistic talent, including musicians, painters, photographers, sculptors and writers (Orange Beach Art Center).
http://www.orangebeach.ws/

A Mountain Destination
Snowshoe Mountain, West Virginia

Whether golf or ski resort, Snowshoe Mountain has something for everyone yearround in the natural beauty of the West Virginia mountains.
www.snowshoemtn.com or 877.441.4386

A Family Vacation
Branson, Missouri

Branson has been known for years as an entertainment mecca, referred to by many as a “family-friendly Las Vegas.” Table Rock Lake and Silver Dollar City provide additional fun for all ages.
www.explorebranson.com

A Shopping Destination
Pigeon Forge, Tennessee

If local attraction Dollywood is not your thing, then consider taking in the endless shops, boutiques and antique malls in the Blue Ridge region's Pigeon Forge.
www.mypigeonforge.com

Family Restaurants

Wade’s Family Restaurant in Spartanburg, Tennessee
www.eatatwades.com or 864.582.3800

The Dillard House in Dillard, Georgia
www.dillardhouse.com or 800.541.0671

A Seafood Restaurant: The Original Oyster House, Gulfshore, Alabama
www.originaloysterhouse.com or 251.948.2445

And our favorite categories, Small Southern Towns and Scenic Drives!

Making the list are:
Beaufort, South Carolina
Situated on the Beaufort River in the heart of the Low Country, Beaufort is so rich in history that 304 acres of the town have been designated a National Historic Landmark. The city-limit population was 12,950 is part of the Hilton Head Island-Beaufort Micropolitan Statistical Area. Beaufort is the second-oldest city in South Carolina, after Charleston. The town's beauty has been captured in movies as a result of its popularity as a filming destination for such blockbusters as The Big Chill, The Prince of Tides and Forrest Gump.
www.beaufortsc.org or 843.524.3163

Fairhope, Alabama
www.cofairhope.com or 251.928.2136

Fredericksburg, Texas
http://www.fredricksburg-texas.com or 830.997.6523

Jonesborough, Tennessee
Charming yearround, Jonesborough is the place to be the first weekend in October when they host the National Storytelling Festival (www.storytellingcenter.net or 800.952.8392).
www.jonesboroughtn.org or 866.401.4223

Scenic Drives
Blue Ridge Parkway, Asheville, North Carolina
www.nps.gov/blri or 828.298.0398

Natchez Chase Parkway, Tupelo, Mississippi
www.nps.gov/natr or 800.305.7417

Route 66 through Missouri, Oklahoma and Texas
www.missouri66.org, www.oklahomaroute66.com or www.historic66.com/texas

Lilliputian Livestock

Vikki Grodner — Tue, 02 Jan 2007 21:47:05 -0500

Always dreamed of living in the country, among rolling pastures lazily populated with barnyard animals? But a little intimidated at the thought of living amongst and caring for full-size horses, cows and pigs?

A whole breed of pint-size livestock is now available for the raising and enjoyment of today's gentlemen (and gentlewomen) farmers.

Diminutive breeds of horses, cattle, pigs, goats and chickens are all available for those who want the companionship of barnyard animals with simpler demands. While they may be a little pricier, most miniatures are curious and sweet in nature (except the infamously feisty Bantam chickens).

Just remember to check local zoning ordinances before creating your own mini-farm wonderland.

Just the Facts
Online resources for additional information on miniature breeds include:

Horses       www.amha.org
Cattle         www.minicattle.com
Goats         www.npga-pygmy.com (Pygmy dwarf) or www.ndga.org (Nigerian dwarf)
Llamas      www.miniaturellamas.com
Chickens www.mcmurrayhatchery.com
Pigs           www.petpigs.com
Sheep       www.babydollsheep.org
Donkeys   www.nmdaasset.com

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Embracing 2007

Vikki Grodner — Mon, 01 Jan 2007 20:55:45 -0500

In yesterday’s New York Times “Life’s Work” column, Lisa Belkin talks about New Year’s resolutions: the hopes they convey for the days ahead, the disappointment they create as the year draws to a close and we examine personal promises laid fallow. Much of this disappointment comes from setting (and verbalizing) goals that are "too": too grand, too many, too far-reaching.

Los Angeles psychologist Robert Butterworth has been on an anti-resolution crusade for the last eight years. He estimates that 80 percent of resolutions have “slipped” by January 24. To increase our chances for success, he suggests that we make a single resolution that is not a complete change in behavior, but rather a subtle shift in course, making it much more attainable.
For as long as I can remember, at both the Jewish New Year and the arrival of each January, my husband has begged, cajoled and advised our two children in the art of making New Year’s resolutions. Stirling says that the process has made her gun shy to this annual ritual.
I, like her, have never found joy in articulating an annual “To Do” list. When I have made resolutions in the last several years, they have been internal dialogues that were more a list of hopes and dreams rather than public declarations.
But this year is different. I plan to fail or succeed in full glory in 2007. I will do exactly what Dr. Butterworth advises us not to do and articulate an overly aggressive list of goals. This is partially due to the lessons of a book I have been reading, The Samurai Leader. It talks about learning to push past fears to truly realize your full potential. After a rather emotionally battering 2006, I found myself paralyzed in the last half of the year by forces over which I felt I had no control. I now realize that you always have control, it is just whether or not you choose to exert it.
So, in this year, I promise that I will not be limited by fear, but motivated by possibilities. I plan to develop the next chapter in my life, professionally and personally, by taking bold steps. And I plan to always remember my "happy thoughts" to keep me grounded in what is really important in life, separating the wheat from the chaff.
For our family, we know with certainty that 2007 will be marked with change and new challenges. I welcome them with gusto. I hope you do as well.

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